career change

I've been avoiding writing on your, dear Blog, because I haven't wanted to create some type of report about my trip to Brazil last month. However, I had the realization this evening that I am not obligated to write anything on here. And so, I won't really say anything about Brazil. If you really want to know, you should ask me. And please, let me know if you want the superficial reply, "Veni, vedi, vici!" or not. I recently waxed too loquacious when someone asked me about the trip, and I quickly realized that he didn't really care about my trip at all.

Anyhow, I want to announce here that I've decided to make a career change. This seems to be one of the most scary types of career change, because I actually haven't started any type of career yet at all (I would recommend graduate school to anyone who doesn't want to start a "real job"yet).

I've been thinking a lot about careers lately, especially since I'm starting my last year of graduate school now. I somehow thought that everything would work itself out when I prepared to graduate with my M.A. - I would suddenly know exactly what I wanted to do with art history, I would know if I wanted to start a family or work for a while, and I would know where J and I are going to move.

But no.

In some ways, I feel more confused now then when I started my degree. I realized that there is a lot of bad Brazilian art in the world (excluding my thesis topic, of course), and that I really wouldn't want to specialize in that (if I ever did get a Ph.D., which I still am not sure about). I don't know when I want to start having children. I don't know where we are going to move after graduation (I feel so anti-NYC after living in Bed-Stuy this summer). And, I don't know if I want to work in a museum anymore.

All that I do know is this: I want to teach.

After teaching 111 this spring, I really realized how passionate I am about teaching. I have always hoped to do something with teaching after graduating, but I always kept stringing the idea of museum work along too. However, I really feel like teaching is my passion. I love getting people excited about art history. I love explaining and verbalizing my own passion for art and why it is such a beautiful, visual representation of the past. I love converting students to the glory and drama of Caravaggio. I love showing people how they can make their own interpretations and conclusions regarding works of art. I love enunciating the most perfect (and sometimes ridiculous) adjectives to describe exactly how a work of art makes me feel. It's so rewarding and fulfilling.

After this realization, working in a museum doesn't seem quite right for me. Even my initial idea of curating and teaching part-time is not as appealing as it used to be. I've been interested in museum work because of the research that is involved, but I don't know if everything else would be fulfilling. Plus, I'm also realizing more and more how I appreciate going to see private collections instead of museums - I don't always like having an exhibition thesis shoved down my throat. And I don't know if I could survive if I spent the rest (wrest) of my life brainstorming and creating such theses.

So, teaching is the plan. Whether that involves a Ph.D. in the future, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll try A.P. Art History (I could be the next Mother Wood!) or a junior college for a while. Or maybe I just won't be able to resist the call of academia...