Handel, but also Ukraine and Bach

Tonight I finished a piano dress rehearsal at Benaroya Hall. It is the first time that my choir has sung there since December 2019, due to the Covid pandemic. The last time we sang there was Handel's "Messiah" with Matthew Halls as the guest conductor, and it seems fitting that our choir is coming back to Benaroya to perform another Baroque concert with Matthew Halls again. He is a delightful person with an inspiring passion for music, and I remember feeling like I had a once-in-a-lifetime experience when I sang the "Messiah" under his direction. I feel very lucky to get to sing Baroque music with him again, and it truly feels like a special, unforgettable gift.

We are singing two Baroque pieces, with the major piece being Handel's Ode for Saint Cecilia's Day. There are some really amusing and clever things that happen in this cantata, and it's fun to sing the words "the double double double beat" in the tenor soloist's aria (see 20:52 in this clip when the tenor sings it for the first time). We repeat words like "charge, charge, charge, charge" and "hark, hark, hark" in that number, which also is fun. Our chorale director Joe rolls his eyes and thinks that Handel's lacking in some creativity here, but I think all of the repetition and diction-heavy words creates a lively song.

I also like how the imagery of our first number ("From Harmony, From Heavenly Harmony") is related to the creation of the world, as if the world was created through music and harmony (a fitting concept, since Saint Cecilia is the patron saint of music). And at the end choral piece ("As From the Pow'r of Sacred Lays") has some interesting imagery of music "untuning the sky" as if the end of the world will also be brought about by music, as part of a divine plan. It also is fitting to have music "untune" as a great finale to the cantata. It is a fun piece to sing and Handel is predictable enough that I feel like I'm getting a chance to sing something akin to the "Messiah", which I haven't been able to sing for the past two holiday seasons. There is even a trumpet solo to make me feel right at home with this new Handel piece.

All this being said, tonight I feel like joy of singing again, especially the sheer pleasure to sing Baroque music under a talented conductor, is also bittersweet. And it's not because we have to sing wearing masks. I realize that singing is a luxury which many do not have right now, although I'm not thinking about Covid but the conflict in Ukraine. Tonight Maestro Halls was talking to our choir about how the timing for our second piece, the motet Der Gerechte kömmt um by Bach, is especially perfect and appropriate given the suffering and darkness in the world right now. This song, which uses the text of Isaiah 57:1-2, speaks of how those who are innocent will die and the world doesn't seem to care ("no man lays it to heart" and "none considering"). Matthew Halls even pointed out how the word "Unglück" that refers to evil and destruction, is associated with bad luck or "the unlucky." This is the translation:

Der Gerechte kömmt um

Der Gerechte kömmt um,
und niemand ist der es zu Herzen nehme;
und heilige Leute werden aufgerafft,
und niemand achtet drauf.

Denn die Gerechten werden weggerafft vor dem Unglück;
und die richtig vor sich gewandelt haben
kommen zum Frieden
und ruhen in ihren Kammern.

The Righteous Perishes

The righteous perishes,
and no man lays it to heart;
and merciful men are taken away,
none considering

that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come;
And those who walk in their uprightness
enter into peace
and rest in their beds. 

I certainly feel like this text, especially the first part, can relate to the innocent people of Ukraine. I have been following the news on the war with a heavy heart, but today my heart has felt particularly weighted down with the news that a Russian airstrike attacked a maternity hospital in Ukraine. Those mothers, who either are expectant or just gave birth to a child, are experiencing terrible trauma - even death - at a time that should have been one of the most wonderful moments of their lives. It's gutting. Is "none considering" the plight of these poor people and the evil that is inflicted on them?

I will be thinking of Ukraine when we perform this weekend. I feel very powerless in this situation and don't feel like I have many options for helping, besides offering financial support for humanitarian aid. But this weekend I will also lift my voice in song - an elegiac song.

To Age Gracefully and Willingly

I've been thinking a lot about age over the past few days. One of my best friends, Rachael, turned forty last week, which has prompted lots of reflection and celebration. Rachael, Carrie, and I went to the MarQueen Hotel to celebrate, as we have all been fully vaccinated - it was the first time I had been in a hotel in over fifteen months due to the pandemic! We took a lot of pictures, although I couldn't help but reflect on how we looked old in the pictures. Not just young moms, but like seasoned moms on a middle-aged "girls" night. Which, in truth, that is what we are: seasoned moms who have been raising our kids together for the past 10+ years.

I'm not even forty yet, but Rachael's birthday (and Carrie's impending 40th birthday) have made be reflective. There is so much that one can accomplish in the first forty years of life, and it also make one wonder what is left in store. And it just so happens that this week other articles about Millenials turning forty came out, stating that it is the "old age of youth" (the term "geriatric Millenials" has gone viral over the past week or so) and that better things happen when one is in their fifties. I guess we'll see how the next decade pans out for me and my friends!

These things about aging were in the back of my mind yesterday, as I was listening to C. S. Lewis's "The Last Battle" on audiobook (read by Patrick Stewart, who did a fantastic performance). I was struck by this quote about Susan Pevensie, who at this time must be in her late teens or twenties:

“Grown-up, indeed,” said the Lady Polly, “I wish [Susan] would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she’ll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that way. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one’s life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can.”

This quote has made me think about what period in my life do I want to enjoy the most, and I hope that my answer will continually be "the present." I'd rather not spend time wishing that I was trying to stay at a time in my life that has already passed me by. Of course, I want to keep my body as healthy as possible, but I think that's different from trying to stop myself from aging or wish that I was a different age. I hope that I can be a person who is content about their stage in life and the things that happen to one's body with age. If I'm going to be a seasoned mom of older kids right now, then so be it.

Mary Oliver Poems

Earlier this evening I learned that Mary Oliver died today. I've been thinking about many of her poems, and how her imagery of nature really resonated with me. I remember reading the poem "Mornings at Blackwater" at a time when I needed to make some important life decisions. Her sage advice is both intensely poignant and also calming. These are three poems I've been thinking about tonight:

Mornings at Blackwater
For years, every morning, I drank
from Blackwater Pond.
It was flavored with oak leaves and also, no doubt,
the feet of ducks.

And always it assuaged me
from the dry bowl of the very far past.
What I want to say is
that the past is the past,
and the present is what your life is,
and you are capable
of choosing what that will be,
darling citizen.

So come to the pond,
or the river of your imagination,
or the harbor of your longing,
and put your lips to the world.
And live
your life.

"I Worried"
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.”

Messenger
My work is loving the world.
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird—
equal seekers of sweetness.
Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
 
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still half-perfect? Let me
keep my mind on what matters,
which is my work,
 
which is mostly standing still and learning to be
astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
 
which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
and these body-clothes,
a mouth with which to give shouts of joy
to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,
telling them all, over and over, how it is
that we live forever.

Ideal PhD situation

J and I drove up to Vancouver on a couple-only overnight getaway. We got to see the musical "Beautiful" as an early anniversary celebration. It was sunny and beautiful outside while we drove. We talked about what it would be like if I got a PhD, and I said that I really would want to do one if it was convenient for me.

We joked about what the ideal topic would be that could fit all of my interests: the undiscovered personal ancient art collection owned by a female archaeologist who lives in Victorian England (so the topic can connect to issues of colonialism and imperialism but also Victorian culture and fashion) and she is friends with the Pre-Raphaelites, John Ruskin, and William Morris. And somehow paintings of women reading books in domestic interiors will be involved too. And this collection and archaeologist have been relatively unknown and unresearched until now.

That's all I need. Oh, and if this topic could be studied at UW so I don't have to move or be inconvenienced, that would be great. Can courses be offered in the morning, so I can teach or be with my kids in the afternoon and evening? Thx.

"We Can't Change That"

After a conversation with J last week, I have been working on generally being a less stressed and fretful person. I'm trying the idea of writing out the things that concern me at night, to see if that helps me to feel some type of mastery or relief of the issues that beset my mind during my waking moments. Then, I'm hoping that I can focus my mind and conversations to more pleasant thoughts. To be honest, this week (especially yesterday and today) it has been really hard. Last night I was up working until 3:00 am. I got a lot of work done that helped to alleviate my stress levels today somewhat, but this morning was full of unplanned activities that threw me for a loop. As we drove in the car, Lucy looked at my reflection in the rear-view mirror and we had this conversation:

Lucy: Mom, your eyebrows are down.
Me: Are they?
Lucy: Are you fwustwated [frustrated]?
Me: Oh, I guess that I am.
Lucy: Why?
Me: Well, I have a lot to do today.
Lucy: I'm sorry, Mom.
Me: And I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.
Lucy: Well, we can't change that.

I chuckled at that last remark. It's true! I need to stop dwelling on things that I can't change and try and embrace the things that I can change. I'm glad that I had a flexible schedule today so that I could take Lucy to the doctor for an earache, and then immediately segue into helping my family members and a friend in need. And I'm grateful for my three-year old girl who is starting to have more mature conversations with me and share her perceptive observations.

Homeowner Woes and Garages

This past academic quarter has been very demanding for me, because I took on more work than I should have. Plus, things have been kind of crazy at home. Within the past two months or so, we have had three separate ant invasions (in different parts of the house), two incidences with mice in the home, a leaky roof, and a water leak in the basement. And there are some slightly unusual smells in the basement now, which may or may not be related to the problems stated above. Ugh. The new roof is supposed to be finished this week, and I hope things will calm down after that point!

We also will likely be getting our shed torn down sometime next year (due to a local construction project which will require us to sell part of our property). This means that we need to quickly build another shed or a full garage, so we will have a place to house our lawn mower and yard tools. I don't know when we will be able to afford a garage (it depends on how much money we get for our property that is being sold), but J and I are spending our free time mulling over garage options. We like this one by Garages Etc. Ideally, we would like something with a loft for storage (and J ideally would like to have a studio space). Plus, we also need something to fit with the aesthetic of our home. This prefabricated option is nice, although there are some practical space logistics which might prevent this model from being a viable option:

Sometimes I wish I could spend all of my savings on trips to Europe, instead of on home improvement projects. Maybe one day that will be the case, but I doubt it!

Exercise!

I definitely don't consider myself to be an athlete by any means, but I like to think of myself as a moderately active person. I like hiking, and I opt to walk places if I have the chance to do so. I go to the gym about three times a week, and when I'm there I usually run around three miles on the treadmill. I have run a few five mile stints before, but that's about as far as I have run - not necessarily because I'm tired (I get a euphoric high after running for a mile or two), but because I don't have more time in my day to dedicate to running. Plus, admittedly, I also get a little bored after running for a long time.

I like exercise. I like the way I feel when I exercise, because I feel alive with my heart racing and my sweat glands working. I also like how I not only feel physically alive, but mentally alive when I do yoga or a dance class: it's almost like I can feel both sides of my brain working, as I try to physically mimic the poses or moves that the instructor shows. Every time I leave a yoga or a dance class, I'm always struck with how I feel very alert.

For that reason, this article about the mental benefits of exercise really resonated with me. My memory, mind, and mental well-being are so important to me, and I really like thinking about how exercise can help me to stay mentally sharp and aware. This article also makes me think of J's sharp grandparents, who walked around their city and up the hill to the local university on a regular basis. Grandma P lived into her nineties, and Grandpa P is still alive (at ninety-six, I believe) and rides a bike for his regular transportation!

I hope I can encourage my children to develop healthy exercise habits and hopefully find a love of exercise. Sam doesn't like competitive sports, but he does enjoy swimming and likes going to his swim lessons. Lucy likes going to her ballet class, which is a good start! I'd love it if one of my kids ends up liking basketball, baseball, or volleyball, because it would be fun to play with them. But if they don't, that's okay too. I just want them to be healthy, more than anything else.

J understands the importance of exercising, but he doesn't get any type of adrenaline rush when he works out. (I wonder if he may have a lower lower levels of dopamine in his body). J still exercises though, and recently discovered that he really enjoys rowing. Earlier this fall, he took a rowing class that would practice on Lake Washington. It's too cold to go out on the water now, but he still uses the rowing machines at the gym and actually gets fairly good PR times. I really enjoy seeing him get excited about this sport.

Post-Election Thoughts

I didn't sleep well last night, after learning that Trump was going to be elected president. I'm so disheartened and depressed that America has fallen so far away from its mark, and that power is invested in someone as dangerous and unpredictable as Trump.

A few weeks ago I came across this interview in the David Soutier, a retired Supreme Justice Court judge. His perspective and historical-approach to looking at American politics resonated with me (starting about 1:37 at the clip below).



I worry about the same things that Soutier worries about. Knowledge is such an important thing to me, and I worry about how ignorance is going to affect America. And, given that this morning I just finished teaching a class on political propaganda in Roman portraiture (using Augustus of Prima Porta as an example), Soutier's discussion of Augustus and the fall of the Roman Republic is especially poignant to me.

My hope is in the young people of America (see voting results for my age demographic). I hope that we can be civically engaged in order to combat fascism, tyranny, intimidation, xenophobia, racism, and misogyny. I like that Hillary Clinton said in her concession speech that we need to place faith in the constitution and in the basic human rights that are outlined therein. I think these next four years will really show if the constitution and the unique setup of the American government (with its various branches and institutions) will actually do their job: to prevent authoritarianism and protect the rights of the people.

Relationship thoughts

I don't know how my relationship with J compares to the broad spectrum of relationships out there, but J and I feel like we have a wonderful marriage. I feel like we are amazingly compatible. We often remark that we are so lucky to have each other, because we get along so well and bring out the best in each other. I hope that my kids will look at our marriage and find things that they want to emulate in their own relationships one day. A handful of conversations have made me to think about my relationship with J lately, and I've realized that, apart from love, there are two things that I think are necessary in a successful marriage: respect and unselfishness.

Respect: I think that this is the foundation of a good marriage, and in many ways I think that deep love and respect are interrelated. The reason that J and I get along so well because we sincerely respect each other. We respect the talents of each other, perhaps especially if we don't have the same talents ourselves. We respect each other's mind and intellect, and consider ourselves to be equals in regard to our wits and brains. For that reason, we feel like we can learn from each other and we respect the decisions that the other person makes. We want to solicit each other's opinion! We are willing to communicate and make compromises on issues, because we respect the stance that the other person assumes.

We respect the person that our spouse was (even before we knew them), and we respect the person that they are today. And because we respect the person that they are today, we feel confident that we will respect the person that they will become in the future. For that reason, it's easy to have a forward-thinking mindset and a solid commitment to each other.

Unselfishness: I think unselfishness is important to have as a spouse, but especially as a parent. One of the reasons that I love J so much is that he is unselfish when it comes to our kids. He willingly and freely gives his time and attention to them, and they are always in the forefront of his mind when he is at home. Because J is unselfish, he is wholly engaged and present.

When a person is unselfish, I think that they naturally and effortlessly are driven to serve and help the people that they love. J looks for ways to be helpful to me and the kids, because he knows how much that contributes to our emotional well-being and happiness. I think I'm still learning how to be as unselfish as him.

Black Lace Dresses and Buttons

I'm pretty sure that Kate Middleton and I would be friends if we ever met. I mean, we both love art history and we both love black lace dresses. What more do we need to have in common? I've been smitten with the black lace dresses that Kate has worn, and I think I'd like something similar to wear for my anniversary date with J.

I found on on a blog entry from the What Kate Wore website that this is the Long Sleeve Amoret Dress by Temperley London which sells for about $4,000. That's a little out of my price range!

Kate Middleton in a black lace gown by Diane von Furstenberg

Black dress by Beulah London (for only $1,000 this time!)

I love the scalloped neckline and hemline of this black lace Dolce Gabbana dress.

This Erdem dress is navy blue, but is also is really great.

This Dolce Gabbana dress is more plum-colored than black, but I like the neckline and the long sleeves.

Here are some more affordable black dress options that I like:

Scallop Lace Dress

With This Ring Dress Black (Shabby Apple)

This is a maternity dress (eek!), but I wonder if a non-pregnant person could get away wearing it.

Milly Celia Lace Dress

And on a side note, I've been thinking a lot of about small buttons and how much I love them on dresses and shoes. Speaking of Kate Middleton, look at the back of this gorgeous greenish-blue Jenny Packham gown of lace and chiffon that she wore at the London Olympic Games gala:

Also, I think I need some Victorian boots that button up. I've always wanted Victorian button boots (ever since I watched Shirley Temple put them on, while using a button hook, in A Little Princess). These are the best options that I have found so far, but I'm going to keep looking.

Thankful for Rest and Singing

I feel like Thanksgiving really has snuck up on me this year. This morning I realized that we never even got out our Thanksgiving decorations. Maybe we will get them out tonight, if we get everything else in order beforehand. Right now we are experiencing a bit of a lull in our preparations, since Lucy is napping.

I realized a few days ago that the past few months have been especially busy for me because I have an unprecedented amount of students with special needs. Over one-third of my students have some type of disability which affects their learning in a classroom setting, or have personal problems which are affecting their school performance, or they are an international student and/or an athlete. With all of these various needs (and the extra accommodations that I need to make for these students), not to mention the new challenges of teaching an art history class very early in the morning, I am worn out!

So, this Thanksgiving, I especially feel grateful for the opportunity to rest from work. I won't be resting in general, since I'll be chasing Lucy, giving Sam the attention he needs, and helping J in the kitchen. But at least I won't be worrying about work and all of my students who need help.

This Thanksgiving too, I am grateful that I sing in the university choir. Although it can be tricky to get to choir rehearsal some days (and I know that my absence creates more work for Jeremy at home), I really do love the opportunity to try to improve my vocal technique. And my choir director is such a delightful and perceptive person. I hope she never retires. I especially love that she has a background in vocal pedagogy, because I learn more things about my personal voice and technique through our rehearsals. I often feel like the vocal tips that she gives the class are intended specifically for me. (Perhaps this isn't the case, but I am paranoid all the same.) Just two days ago I learned these things:

• In order to use the "f" fricative effectively in singing, you shouldn't bite down with your "f" on the top part of your lip, because that will restrict the air flow. Instead, you should place your teeth behind your lip, so that the air can flow freely. (How logical! She gave us this advice while we were rehearsing "Fum, Fum, Fum!")
• When singing an "ah" vowel, only drop your jaw extremely far down (what I learned as the "two-finger method" in terms of creating space) when you are in your very low or very high register. When you sing an "ah" in your middle register, you don't need to drop your jaw down low, even in an attempt to blend. You can keep your mouth relatively closed (with only a "one-finger opening") and just have the open space be created by lifting your soft palate. 

Singing in choir is definitely one of the most rewarding things that I am involved with right now. Although I enjoy my volunteer work as a docent in a general sense, I am more rejuvenated when I leave my choir rehearsals. I am grateful that the act of singing allows not only for self-expression, but also self-improvement and learning.

Family Halloween Costumes

I'm supposed to be grading the mound of papers sitting next to me, but I keep getting distracted by the Chasing Fireflies website. I always like seeing what family costumes they have for sale each year, even though I don't know if we'll ever be able to justify a thematic costume from their website for our whole family. Nonetheless, these are the costumes that I think would be fun.

The Downton Abbey family costume

J would lovingly roll his eyes at this costume. I don't think anyone in the family would care to dress up like characters from Downton except for me. But for me to wear a dress like Lady Grantham! That would be fun.

The Wizard of Oz family costume

I could get Sam on board for doing this family costume, I think! I'm not so keen on being Glinda (I'd rather do the Dorothy costume, if need be, although I'd rather have Lucy be Dorothy). Ideally, I think we would have Sam be the Tin Woodman, J as the Cowardly Lion (or the Scarecrow), and Lucy as Dorothy, and then I could be either be Ozma (a childhood wish realized too late!), the Lion or Scarecrow (whomever J doesn't want), Glinda, or the Wicked Witch. If I did go as Glinda, though, I'd rather go as the Glinda that appears in the Oz books (as drawn by J.R. Neill).

Breakfast at Tiffany's costume

If Lucy and I were brunettes, then I think this would be a fun costume to pull off. Maybe my sister C would be a better candidate for this one.

They still have the Vampires of Versailles costumes for sale, which I think would be my ultimate costume dream! I blogged about them and the "Ghostly Adults" a few years ago. But I'm sad to report that the "Ghostly Adults" costumes have been discontinued - I'll have to find a nineteenth-century ghost costume elsewhere.

Spring Cleaning

Since Lucy has been born, I have been trying to find a good balance of caring for her and keeping up with household tasks. There is so much baby stuff in our house right now, that for a while I felt like all I could do was keep the clutter at bay. (And sometimes I could only get the clutter and mess cleaned at the end of the day, after the kids were asleep.)  Part of me has realized that I need to "let go" a little bit when the clutter accumulates (something that I considered would be a possibility when I was pregnant). But I also want to make sure that my house is clean, because it's the only way that I can truly feel relaxed when I'm at home.

Between caring for Lucy and work, it was difficult for me to do more intensive or time-consuming household cleaning tasks, even something like vacuuming. And I have longed to do Spring Cleaning this year, since I wasn't able do to much last year when I was pregnant. And now, thanks to a recommendation from my friend Joanna, I think I have found a way to better stay on top of household tasks.

I have been following @cleanmama on Instagram for the past few weeks. She has a weekly cleaning routine with a different task every day, which she posts each morning. And, for just this month, she has been posting a Spring Cleaning task each day as well (for her "Spring Clean in 30 Challenge"). It's been really nice to wake up and have someone tell me which tasks to perform - she has great ideas for cleaning areas that I don't normally consider, but get grimy, dusty, or full of cobwebs (like light switch plates or the corners of ceilings). Although some of her tasks don't always fit with what I need to clean, her program has been a good general guide.

Since I'm such a goal-oriented person, I've been doing well under this program. The house is cleaner and I feel more on top of things. Now I just have about a week left of the Spring Clean Challenge! If anyone is interested in starting up the challenge, you can follow her on Instagram or check out her website.

The other thing that we have implemented is a Responsibility Chart for Sam. Sam has had a smattering of responsibilities around the house for the past couple of years, but we haven't had a consistent pattern or list of all of the things that he is expected to do. We got the Magnetic Chore Chart by Melissa and Doug to hang on our fridge, and I think it has been helpful for Sam to see (and get to mark off) the tasks that he is expected to do. I think he'll use this chart for a few years, until Lucy is old enough to take over. (Some of the options for tasks and responsibilities are more appropriate for a smaller child, but we have found enough that fit with what Sam is expected to do.)

What do you do to stay on top of household cleaning chores as a family? Once I finish this Spring Clean Challenge, I hope to move my energy outdoors so I can truly tackle the weeds in the garden...

Alphonse Mucha Girl

The other day, Lucy was a bit grumpy (she was in want of a good nap), so I decided to dress her up in a bright and cheerful-looking outfit from my grandma, with a little headband that my friend Joanna made and gave to Lucy. I don't like a lot of headbands that are made for little girls (especially those with huge flowers that look as big as a satellite dish), but I think Joanna makes some very cute ones.

I think I have flowers-in-hair on my mind lately too, because I seem to come across books and calendars with art by Alphonse Mucha wherever I look. It seems like Mucha is really trendy and hip right now. I actually really like the Art Nouveau aesthetic of his art: it's flowy and gauzy and classical (in a timeless, female-personification sort of way) and celebrates nature. Plus, the images of women with flowers decorating their hair remind me of representations of Ozma by J.R. Neill (like this one from The Lost Princess of Oz). I used to think Ozma was the most beautiful creature, and I still regret not having the idea to be her for Halloween until I was an adult. Now I'm too old to convincingly dress up as the girl ruler!

Anyhow, here is my little Lucy, dressed up in her girly, flowery outfit. Perhaps her hair is too wispy and her cheeks are a bit too roundy round to let her pass for a Mucha girl, but I like to think that she fits with the aesthetic in a roundabout way. Here she is paired with a detail of Amethyst (1900) from Mucha's The Precious Stones series:

We love this little girl, even on her grumpy-ish days. She usually greets everyone with a big smile, right from the moment that we pick her up from her crib in her morning. She brings us a lot of joy.

What I Would Do

If I had a day or two to myself right now, I don't think I would spend it on a museum visit or anything else so frivolous. Right now I feel like life is manageable, but packed full of constant needs and activities. It would be nice to get caught up on things like, say, vacuuming. Sometimes I feel like folding one basket of laundry is a big triumph for the day. If I do have free time, this is what I will do over the next few weeks:

- Write my six-object tour for my docent class
- Finish reading "What Are You Looking At?" for my docent class
- Cut down the dead flowers and weed in the garden
- Mow the lawn one more time
- Go through Lucy's clothes and donate the ones that she has outgrown
- Memorize my Christmas choir music
- Transcribe my silly musical jingles into actual notation (this is a frivolity, but something I want to do soon)

I know that many of these things will happen at some point, because they have to happen. But I have higher priorities than what is on this list anyway, like helping my friend Meka with her soon-to-be-born baby (which will be so fun!). I know that in just a little over a month, this constantly-busy schedule will die down. I'm looking forward to some luxury time.

To Feel Like An Idiot

This is a excerpt from email that I just wrote to a friend from graduate school:

I have to say that your email came at a timely moment; it saved me from feeling like a complete loser after I had just stepped out of a dinner with the other art history faculty members and some art historians who were visiting our campus. The visiting art historians were specialists in Renaissance and Baroque art, and in some ways it was really fun to talk to them. But they also were mentioning so many scholars in such a nonchalant way ("So-and-so's newest book on Caravaggio..." or "So-and-so who published in 'Art Forum' - he was was up for the open position at Yale last year") that I felt quite overwhelmed. I kept nodding my head like I knew what they were talking about or who they were talking about, but I really didn't. I left the dinner wondering if I really even knew that much about scholarship on the Baroque period, let alone art history as a discipline. And I also had to quickly jot down all of these names that I heard (like Lorenzo Pericolo, Todd Olson, and Stephen Greenblatt) so I can try and be more informed next time.

These professors, who obviously have to focus a lot on publication and scholarship as part of their careers, seem to have a totally, totally different profession than mine. It was really interesting to see these professors interact with my colleagues who are tenured. It almost felt like they were speaking another language.

Anyhow, it was an eye opening moment about how different my life would be if I had a PhD and was a tenure-track professor right now. It would be nice to not feel like an idiot in certain circles. But I also don't know if I'm ready or even want to do quasi-ritualistic dances with other professors which involve naming scholars and publications left and right.

Even though I feel like I have learned so much in the past few years, even since graduation, I guess it is a good to be reminded that I don't, in many ways, know much at all.

This evening as I've been thinking about my career and what I do as an art historian and instructor, I've felt comforted by looking at pictures of myself teaching in the classroom. These photos were taken about a year and a half ago. At least I look like I know what I'm doing in those images!

Dr. Better!

I rarely drink soda. If I do drink any type of soda, it is usually Dr. Pepper, which is hands-down my favorite soda pop drink. If I ever have a glass or can of Dr. Pepper, it is usually when I am at a restaurant; we hardly ever buy any type of soda from the grocery store.

Today, though, I did buy some soda on a whim. I walked down the soda aisle of our local store to see if there was any Guaraná for sale. I'm teaching a class on Brazilian art that starts this evening, and since I only have nine students I thought that I'd share some cans of Guaraná with them on the first day. QFC didn't have any for sale, but I did stumble across "Virgil's Dr. Better." I immediately noticed on the label that it is 100% natural and is caffeine free.

One of the reasons that I don't drink too much soda (apart from the fact that it isn't good for you - especially all of that sugar), is that I'm really sensitive to caffeine. Even a can of Dr. Pepper will keep me up for several hours in the night. As a result, during my pregnancy and these past few months with Lucy I've avoided Dr. Pepper even more than my usual avoidance of soda; I don't want to be kept up in the night since I'm already sleep deprived. But now I have hope for an occasional indulgence! Dr. Better is something that tastes like Dr. Pepper, but won't keep me awake. And there are only six ingredients in this soda, which are all natural basic ingredients: carbonated water, cane sugar, natural caramel, phosophoric acid, and a touch of prune juice.

Now I just need to get back to my original quest and find out where Guaraná is sold in the Seattle area...

Muppets in Academia and Musicals

I feel like I've been writing about the Muppets a lot lately for some reason. But I saw this picture on Twitter today and had to share it. Since I don't have a PhD, yet teach as a adjunct lecturer, I suppose that I would fit somewhere on the spectrum between Rolf and Beaker? I wonder what would be a good Muppet to substitute for me and my place in academia. I feel like I'm a energetic and perhaps goofy (nerdy?) teacher, which maybe would make someone like Gonzo or Scooter appropriate. But, considering all of the discussion about adjunct unions on our campus over the past year, perhaps I need to pick someone more disgruntled to represent underpaid adjuncts, like Oscar the Grouch?

Speaking of Muppets, for a few weeks I have thought to type up an idea for a movie: a remake of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat with the Muppets. I came up with this idea probably six or seven years ago, but my sister C recently reminded me of it. I still think it would be a cute idea, although I don't know how many fans of Joseph would also be Muppet fans. This is probably a very limited, specific audience which would prevent producers from picking up this idea! Nonetheless, this is who I would cast:

Narrator = A human soprano, probably Idina Menzel or Kristin Chenowyth
Joseph = Kermit
Reuben = Rolf ("One More Angel in Heaven")
Simeon = Dr. Teeth or perhaps The Swedish Chef ("Those Canaan Days")
Benjamin = Robin ("Benjamin Calypso")
"Hairy Bunch of Ishmaelites" = Animal and Sweetums
Potiphar: Sam the Eagle
Mrs. Potiphar: Miss Piggy (who else would try to seduce "Kermie"?)
Pharaoh: Fozzie
Baker and Butler: Dr. Honeydew and Beaker, or Gonzo and Rizzo

Cameo: Donny Osmond

Would you cast the Muppets differently in these roles? I'm still uncertain as to who I would want to have play the "French" brother Simeon, but Dr. Teeth or The Swedish Chef might be alright. I think Kermit's personality fits well with Joseph. In the Muppet movies, Kermit often gets discouraged about one thing or another (which fits well with "Close Every Door"), but then things work out all right for Kermit in the end ("Go Go Go Joseph!").

And finally, you should all know that when I was looking up images for this post, I typed in "kermit" and "coat" and was presented with images of Lady Gaga. This is, truly, an amazing technicolor dreamcoat:

On Kindness

I have been thinking lately about kindness and the impact of kind words. I'm not sure why, but a couple of days ago I was thinking about how I can still remember some unkind things that were said to me years and years ago. The first was a comment that was made when I was in eighth grade, and the second was a passing remark someone made about nine years ago. And to be fair, I think that one of these people didn't even realize that their remark hurt my feelings. Both comments were about inconsequential things (my makeup and my striped yellow shirt), but they have been ingrained in my memory. Really, though, I'm glad that I remember these instances, because they remind me to be careful about the things that I say, especially when it comes to someone's appearance or fashion choices.

Whenever I'm reminded of these two instances, both of which I remember quite distinctly, I always wonder if there is someone who remembers unkind things that I said to them. Perhaps I have unintentionally said unkind things that someone remembers as distinctly as I remember the things that have been said to me. I hope not, but I can't be sure. I do remember needing to apologize to someone for saying something unkind when I was on a study abroad in college. This friend was very noble and has continued to be very kind to me over the past eleven (!) years. I can't even really remember exactly what I said that was unkind; I hope that this friend has forgotten whatever I said, too.

I've also been thinking about kindness over the past few months because of two books: Wonder by R. J. Palacio and The Kindness Book by Welleran Poltarnees. I received The Kindness Book for Christmas when I was younger (there is a dedication in my mom's handwriting from "Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus" on the inside cover), but I had forgotten about this book until my sister sent it to me several months ago. This book reminds me of my mom, not only because of the dedication but because it is full of turn-of-the-century illustrations that I'm sure she liked. For that reason, I keep this book on a side table in our bedroom. Sam has asked about the book several times and we've read some of the quotes together. Here are two of my favorites:

Life is short, and we never have too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind! -Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Let us open up our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness. - O. S. Marden

The other book, Wonder, is one that I read several months ago. I think it is a great book for young teens to read, especially those in middle school. I especially love this quote that is given at the end of the book as part of a graduation speech:

[Be] kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. Be kinder than is needed.

I feel like there are ways that I could improve and be more kind. I've had a lot of kindnesses shown to me recently, especially since Lucy was born, and I want to extend similar kindnesses to others. I'm trying to not get frustrated with Sam when he doesn't quickly respond to my requests or instructions. (I feel like I've been getting after Sam a lot, lately.) I can extend myself more to people who need my love and support. I can be less protective of my routines and my space, especially if it means that I can be kind to others in the process. Maybe, one day, I will attain enough of a kind and loving heart that I won't even worry about myself or my selfish, silly concerns when I interact with people.

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

My phone dramatically and suddenly died the other week. I've been getting by alright with a replacement phone, but I am sad that I've lost some of the files and photos that were on my old phone. One thing that I lost was a list of bizarre things that I've said to Sam over the past year or so. Each of these quotes came about when I was trying to teach Sam some type of lesson or truth. When I think about these quotes objectively and out of context, they're quite amusing. I've remembered some of the quotes I recorded on my old phone, but I'm sure that there were others that I can't recall. I thought I'd better record what I do remember here:

- "Boogers are the poop of your nose. Do you want to eat nose poop?!?"

- "If you want to have friends, you need to wipe your bottom."

- "We don't wear two pairs of underwear [at the same time] in our family."

- "We don't squish other people's vitamins."[This one was said just last night, when I commented that the capsule for my fish oil supplement was rather squishy. Sam asked if he could hold the supplement to see for himself, which prompted my response.]

A few months ago my friend sent me a compilation of other bizarre and humorous things that parents have found themselves saying to their children. These quotes are accompanied with cute illustrations.

I suppose this is an appropriate post to write, given that today is Mother's Day. On some level, these quotes are a silly indication of how I am a mother. In a way, too, some of these quotes also indicate how my mother would teach things to me: she often spoke in the second person when endorsing or discouraging behavior by saying "We don't [insert an action] in our family" or "We do [insert an action] in our family."

What types of bizarre and humorous things have you said to children - either your own or someone else's?