On Kindness

I have been thinking lately about kindness and the impact of kind words. I'm not sure why, but a couple of days ago I was thinking about how I can still remember some unkind things that were said to me years and years ago. The first was a comment that was made when I was in eighth grade, and the second was a passing remark someone made about nine years ago. And to be fair, I think that one of these people didn't even realize that their remark hurt my feelings. Both comments were about inconsequential things (my makeup and my striped yellow shirt), but they have been ingrained in my memory. Really, though, I'm glad that I remember these instances, because they remind me to be careful about the things that I say, especially when it comes to someone's appearance or fashion choices.

Whenever I'm reminded of these two instances, both of which I remember quite distinctly, I always wonder if there is someone who remembers unkind things that I said to them. Perhaps I have unintentionally said unkind things that someone remembers as distinctly as I remember the things that have been said to me. I hope not, but I can't be sure. I do remember needing to apologize to someone for saying something unkind when I was on a study abroad in college. This friend was very noble and has continued to be very kind to me over the past eleven (!) years. I can't even really remember exactly what I said that was unkind; I hope that this friend has forgotten whatever I said, too.

I've also been thinking about kindness over the past few months because of two books: Wonder by R. J. Palacio and The Kindness Book by Welleran Poltarnees. I received The Kindness Book for Christmas when I was younger (there is a dedication in my mom's handwriting from "Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus" on the inside cover), but I had forgotten about this book until my sister sent it to me several months ago. This book reminds me of my mom, not only because of the dedication but because it is full of turn-of-the-century illustrations that I'm sure she liked. For that reason, I keep this book on a side table in our bedroom. Sam has asked about the book several times and we've read some of the quotes together. Here are two of my favorites:

Life is short, and we never have too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind! -Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Let us open up our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness. - O. S. Marden

The other book, Wonder, is one that I read several months ago. I think it is a great book for young teens to read, especially those in middle school. I especially love this quote that is given at the end of the book as part of a graduation speech:

[Be] kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. Be kinder than is needed.

I feel like there are ways that I could improve and be more kind. I've had a lot of kindnesses shown to me recently, especially since Lucy was born, and I want to extend similar kindnesses to others. I'm trying to not get frustrated with Sam when he doesn't quickly respond to my requests or instructions. (I feel like I've been getting after Sam a lot, lately.) I can extend myself more to people who need my love and support. I can be less protective of my routines and my space, especially if it means that I can be kind to others in the process. Maybe, one day, I will attain enough of a kind and loving heart that I won't even worry about myself or my selfish, silly concerns when I interact with people.