With the advent of Valentine's Day, J and I recently were talking about our dating life, when we fell in love, etc. We turned to the subject of secret crushes and I ended up confessing a secret crush that I had several years ago (before I even knew J). J then told me about a secret-crush-once-removed (he had told one person about the crush) that he had at one time.It's kind of nice to have J know about my past secret crush, but I have to admit that part of me is a little sad that I don't have that secret anymore. At the time, I never breathed a word of that crush to anyone. Although I (obviously) don't have a crush on that person anymore, I'll miss having that secret. Maybe I liked having the secret more than the crush itself.
Do you have/have you had a secret crush? What keeps you from revealing your secret?
*The image in this post is a valentine by Tasha Tudor (early 1990s). I had a Tasha Tudor valentine kit when I was little; I associate her art with valentines more than anything else.
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6 comments:
who is it? who is it? and more importantly, do i know this person?
Since I left (what feels like) the civilized world for school, I most DEFINITELY have a secret crush on one of my friends. It works out cause we don't even live in the same state! I think the reason anyone keeps a crush secret is the age old fear of rejection. Who hasn't had a crush on someone, thought that maybe they liked you too, then you declare your feelings and they are appalled and/or disgusted. Hmmm, yes, I definitely think I'll keep the current crush a secret ;)
I've thought about secret crushes lately because I hear that phrase thrown around a lot by a seemingly unlikely group of people: married women and women in long term, committed relationships (ie, living together). It seems to me that most of them are not implying a romantic or sexual attraction, but rather an admiration of intellect, humor, visible talents, etc that doesn't progress to anything more than a distanced admiration. So then, is "secret crush" the correct term? Or is it becoming an overused (and incorrectly used) term like the word "random" among BYU students?
Also, I've never understood why some girls I know have the uncontrollable compulsion to "declare" their feelings to their secret crush. Most times the guy didn't even know who the girl was (ex: senior boy and freshman girl) and was not likely to be interested. I guess I don't know why you'd want to do that to yourself. Insights anyone?
e, I haven't heard the phrase "secret crush" to refer to distanced admiration, but I don't doubt what you've said. It's annoying when it becomes popular for phrases and words to be used in improper context.
My guess is that saying "I have a secret crush on so-and-so" sounds much cuter and coquettish than "I have distanced admiration for so-and-so."
I never, ever wanted to "declare" my secret crush, and it wasn't just because of the fear of rejection. I had other fears too. However, I had a friend that did. My friend H in high school had a secret crush and gave the guy a stuffed bear on Valentine's Day during our sophomore year. Over two years later at our graduation, she ended up confessing the crush in his yearbook. I don't think she had too many hopes of this guy being interested in her, but I think she wanted to let the guy know how much she admired him and wished him the best in life. Perhaps her situation was different, though, since she knew she would never see the guy again and therefore could not be rejected by him.
Yeah, I don't know why you'd want to declare your feelings, especially if you knew that you didn't really have a chance. Maybe it would help you get over the guy? I dunno.
Ixoj, you do know this guy. I think that's all I can bring myself to say right now. The truth is, I wasn't even going to tell J. He guessed it; my surprise and blushing really gave my secret away.
Have you heard Aaron Hatch's "Secret Crush" song that is so amazing? Hey, I've just been meaning to tell you, and pass it on to Jeremy--last week I woke up to Jeremy's voice on Classical 89, his radio interview about Flux, and it was great. Except they kept talking about colors we couldn't see. But I had seen it before in action, so I was stoked cause I know what they were talking about. Way to go! Hope you guys are doing well!
now I'm curious! i hope you're having fun in utah!
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