Covid is a Worm Hole

When I was a sophomore in college, some friends took me and my roommates out to go caving in Nutty Putty Cave in Utah Valley. There is a specific area of this cave that is nicknamed the "Worm Hole," which is so tight that one person can barely fit in the hole and you have to crawl through on your belly. This also means you can't turn your body around go backwards at any point - you have to commit to going through the tunnel in one direction. While I explored the other caverns of the cave with my friends, I opted to sit out and not do the Worm Hole. I knew I would feel claustrophobic and didn't want to feel like I might get stuck.

Anyhow, recently I've had a recurring dream in which I'm tunneling through the Worm Hole. I can't go backwards, but I have to keep going forwards if I ever want to get out. It's a stressful dream. Last time I dreamt about it, I had a hard time falling back asleep. (And, in the past few weeks with the stress of the election and work, I haven't always slept that well.)

I think that my brain is processing Covid in the context of this Worm Hole, especially as the weather gets colder and it is apparent that we'll be spending even more time stuck indoors. As is the case with the narrow tunnel in the cave, I can't go back and turn around. I can't reset. I just have to keep crawling forward, even if the context is suffocating and it's difficult to see when the experience will end. And, while some days are better than others, sometimes it really does feel like I'm crawling through the day.