new additions to the household

J and I would like to welcome two new members into our home: Tom and Harry. We didn't really think about having pet fish until Sunday night, when we kinda-sorta won Harry (on the left) in a White Elephant exchange at the Maxfield's. The truth is, someone "stole" Harry from us during the exchange, and I must have looked so disappointed that at the end of the party the true winners handed the fish to us. Either that, or the winners decided they didn't want to deal with the hassle of a new pet.

So, after the party on Sunday we took Harry home. Being sans fish care equipment, we filled up a glass pitcher with water and placed Harry inside. He sunk down do the bottom of the bowl, looking like the most depressed fish in the world. More than one time we thought he was dead. He would glumly stare out the pitcher, only occasionally moving a fin as he gave a little sigh (I am now convinced that goldfish can sigh).

We felt like the worst fish owners in the world, and immediately started looking up all of this information about goldfish care. I didn't realize that goldfish were so complex - when I had a goldfish in high school, I just kept it in a bowl and fed it once in a while. Maybe we're subconsciously working out baby care anxieties by obsessing about Harry.

Evidence of our fish care anxieties can be seen in the photo. I've never gone as far as to buy a little aquarium or a filter or an air pump for a goldfish before. You can also see that we bought Harry a roommate (on the right). Harry is officially "my" fish, since I got him at the party, and Tom is J's pet. As soon as we put Tom and Harry in the new tank, Harry completely snapped out of his depression. He's been really animated and active ever since. He must be a people-fish. Either that, or he's just glad to be out of the pitcher.

'led' deficient

Today I wish that I was in London for this concert. One of the greatest moments of my life was seeing Paul McCartney perform live outside the Colosseum in Rome in a free concert. If I had $168,000 then I might be able to see Led Zeppelin play too.

My love for Led Zeppelin began when I was a freshman in college. Katie, my best friend from high school, had been trying to get me to listen to them for a couple of years. I was a little wary. To me, Led Zeppelin seemed to attract groupies that were only "a step up" from the weirdos who wore "Grateful Dead" t-shirts in the school halls. "Stairway to Heaven" was the only song with which I was vaguely familiar, but that exposure was mainly through "Wayne's World" and listening to hopeful-guitarists messing around on their instrument.

But I was wrong about Zeppy. In our freshman bedroom, my roommate Zillah and I often reveled in "the Led" during the day and late into the night (well, "late" for me meaning about 10:00, when I would go to sleep and Zillah would continue to listen to her music with Kelly in the kitchen), thanks to some CDs which were lent to us by Britton Q. I realized the breadth of musicality which Led Zeppelin encompasses, and I began to see why the band was so influential.

My favorite Led Zeppelin songs, in more-or-less an order of partiality:
1. Over the Hills and Far Away
2. Thank You
3. Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You
4. Black Dog
5. What Is and What Should Never Be
6. Dazed & Confused
7. Immigrant Song

It will be interesting to see what kinds of reviews and comments are made about this concert. Part of me hopes that the concert is amazing, so that this band can receive the praise that its music deserves. However, I also jealously wish that the concert doesn't go so well, merely because I'll feel even worse at having missed out.

Addendum: Looks like it was a success. Good for them.

gravidism

I think that most of the people who read this blog probably know (or at least have guessed) that I am pregnant. I actually haven't told too many people that I am expecting, and I've really had a fun time watching the news get publicized for me. Even when you tell someone in confidence that you are pregnant, there is always going to be a leak...somewhere. Tonight one of the grad students said, "So, I heard you're pregnant!" to me after class (he heard from someone at the Springville Museum of Art, where I used to intern before morning sickness took over my life) and basically announced my pregnancy to the whole grad department for me.

I think it's really funny when these announcements get made for me. Afterwards I always get pummeled the same question by everyone who was in earshot of the announcement: "Wait...you're pregnant???" Yep. Yep. Yep. I am. And, it's even funnier because the original person who made the announcement often doesn't realize that he/she has just made an announcement for me. For some reason, the announcer doesn't seem to realize that no one else in the room has been privy to this information. It's very amusing.

A couple of people have also announced my pregnancy for me too. The first time it happened I was a little bit shocked, and I had a hard time dealing with the pummeling of questions which followed. Now, however, I rather enjoy the announcements to be made for me. My cute sister-in-law felt bad when she mentioned my pregnancy in front of previously uninformed family friends, but by the time that happened last week, I didn't mind at all. When other people bring up the pregnancy, then I don't feel like I have to put on a superficial, hyped-up "We're so excited!" face. Don't get me wrong, I am excited for the baby to come, but I don't like putting on an over-excited demeanor and instantly commanding that the next ten minutes of conversation be all about me and my baby.

I'm actually quite interested to see what will happen at church this Sunday. We told Grandma Bowen last week about the news while we were out of town. Grandma Bowen's sister-in-law, Aunt Ellen, lives in the same ward as us, and we're pretty sure that Aunt Ellen sufficiently publicized the news while we were gone last Sunday. Excellent. Now I won't have to announce anything in Relief Society - especially because a pregnancy announcement in our ward immediately calls for the Enrichment leaders to throw you a baby shower. It's inevitable. I'd rather not feel like I'm asking for a baby shower...

P.S. The due date is June 10th.

standing ovation

The other night, J and I had a fairly long debate on what standard/type of cultural performance calls for a "standing ovation." The whole conversation began when I complained about the obligatory standing ovation which occurs at every BYU performance in the HFAC. If every performance gets a standing ovation, then what value and significance is imbued in the idea of standing up while clapping? I suppose in attempts to be "Christian" and "charitable," Mormon audiences always given standing ovations - even at sub-standard performances. I think that this not only desecrates the significance of a standing ovation, but it also is downright silly.

J thinks that standing ovations should not only occur at phenomenal performances, but they are also expected for historical performances by famous performers (e.g. the performer will never again perform a certain monologue, concerto, etc.). I asked him if he would give Led Zeppelin a standing ovation at their upcoming reunion-concert this December, and he said that 1) he'd already be standing for a rock concert (good point!), and 2) yes, he would give a standing ovation - not so much to the performance (we all know that Page and Plant aren't living their glory days anymore), but to the shadows of the great band that once existed. I guess I would agree with him.

However, I also think that standing ovations include something more than just showing respect and honor to a great performer. When I have been truly, deeply moved by a performance, I have physically been moved to stand up. It almost is as if my body is so exhilarated and moved that I have to stand up and clap as hard as I can, as if it is the only way to truly express how I feel. I think that the last time I felt the sensation of being lifted to my feet was when I heard the Queen of the Night aria in London, in the spring of 2003.

Has anyone else ever felt that way as well during a performance? I wonder if there are other motivations for standing ovations, besides my emotional motivation and J's historical motivation. Does a standing ovation mean something else to you?

change in perspective

It's interesting how changes in your health can alter your perspective. Normally, I consider a good day to be one where I am able to be 150% effective. I wake up early, work for a few hours, volunteer in the community, get way more homework done than necessary, clean the house, exercise, make an awesome dinner, and still have time for pleasure reading. However, since I've been rather sick lately, I've had quite a change in perspective. I realized this yesterday around 6:00 p.m., when I triumphantly realized that I had kept a grilled cheese sandwich "down."

That was my big accomplishment for the day.

It's funny how feeling woozy can change your perception of what is important. Once I feel better, I'll probably take my health for granted again.

wisdom

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be "wise" in the scriptures. In some places, we are warned about the dangers of "thinking" that you are wise. Being involved in graduate school and the world of academia has really made me realize how dangerous it is to "think" that you are wise. I also have had a recent experience which has made me think a lot about true wisdom in relation to the gospel.

In the scriptures, it seems like there are also two definitions of the word "wise" right in the scriptures. The first definition of "wise" is a lot like the idea of "thinking" that you are wise - they are the people who are puffed up in their learning, wisdom, etc. (see 2 Nephi 9:42). It is explained here that these people must come down in the depths of humility or the Lord will not open the door to them.

Only the people who consider themselves as "fools before God" will be let in - which the Lord defines as true wisdom in the following verse (2 Nephi 9:43). These people are "wise and prudent," and the happiness which is prepared for them will be hidden from those that are puffed up in wisdom.

I never had connected wisdom with humility before. I have thought of wisdom in regards to prudence, temperance, and true knowledge, but I never had thought about humility. I don't know why I hadn't made the connection before, because I often think of humility as an opposite to "prideful wisdom." Therefore, it makes sense to me that humility should be part of true wisdom - in order for an individual to be truly wise, he must accept that he does not know everything, nor can he figure everything out. The logic and mind of God is far beyond the capacity of our mortal minds. We can only hope to one day attain that full knowledge and understanding.

disappointed by David Letterman

I've attached below an email that I sent to CBS regarding David Letterman's interview of Paris Hilton last Friday. If you want to see the interview, click here.

To Whom it May Concern:

I am writing to express my disappointment and disgust at the way Paris Hilton was interviewed by David Letterman last week. It was obvious in the interview that Miss Hilton was invited onto the show to be ridiculed by Mr. Letterman's sarcastic questions regarding her jail experience. I felt that Mr. Letterman's refusal to stop pummeling Miss Hilton with questions regarding her time in jail was also rude and inconsiderate. Listening to the studio audience's howls of laughter during the interview showed me how distanced the American public is from common decency and respect. It obviously isn't right for the media to defame celebrities "behind their back," but it is even more appalling when television invites individuals onto their broadcast with the intention of mocking, scorning, and scoffing at the individual directly.

Although I do not support the actions of Miss Hilton, I feel that the exploitation of her life and experiences on Mr. Letterman's show were inappropriate. Not only has this experience made me decide to stop viewing the Late Night Show, it also has shown me that I do not want to be a person who laughs at people that make mistakes. Located in a country that was founded on Christian principles and behavior, I find that the American media should promote the idea that "pure charity is never glad when others go wrong" (1 Corinthians, chapter 13, Moffatt translation). Even for people who are not Christian in their belief, the idea of mutual respect should be an integral and fundamental part of any functional society. Instead of derailing and satirizing the guests on his show, I find that Mr. Letterman should uphold the principle of mutual respect in his interviews, since he has the opportunity to be a role model for the American public.

Thank you for your time, etc.