Our first full day in Canada was mostly spent in Burnaby and Vancouver. We visited a lovely park and farmer's market in Burnaby, and everything was walking distance from the Burnaby Village Museum. The museum recreates the appearance of a village in the 1920s, and volunteers are dressed in period costume throughout the site. The village was free and open to the public, and we all had a really fun time. I especially liked visiting the houses in the village and seeing all the interior decoration. We also had fun seeing places like the Printing Shop and the General Store.
"Riding" on the stationary trolley
This antique carousel was accompanied by music from a restored Wurlitzer organ!
After we left Burnaby, we headed to Vancouver and visited the Capilano Suspension Bridge Park. I was curious about this park because I noticed it when J and I spent our anniversary in Vancouver over a year ago; our bed-and-breakfast Thistle Down was just up the road from the park. It was fun to walk across different bridges and take little hikes in the area. We didn't have our hiking backpack for Lucy, which was unfortunate, but we managed alright by carrying her when her legs got tired of walking.
Sam was nervous on the suspension bridge, but he managed alright!
We took a road trip up to Canada for the Memorial Day weekend. Our car drive was really fun, especially since we introduced Sam to Back to the Future and got to eat at a fun drive-in called Boomer's in Bellingham. The kids were thrilled that their food came in little cars, and Lucy was really taken with the idea that she got to eat her dinner in the car (which is funny, because she snacks in the car all the time).
On the drive, we played a fun "stack-rank" game that we invented. You basically compile a list of your favorite things by interrogating a person and asking one at a time, "Which is better? ______ or ________?" We picked a few themes for these lists, and here they are, ranked from best to worst:
Lucy: Princesses
--
Elsa
Moana
Belle
Cinderella
Sleeping Beauty
Ariel / Snow White
Rapunzel
Jasmine
Gizelle
Anastasia
Ana
Sam: Heroes
--
Harry Potter
Ron Weasly
Steve
Dumbledore
Chewbacca
Ewoks
Chirrut Îmwe (Rogue One blind guy)
Ash
Pikachu
BB8
Hermione Granger
Jyn Erso
K2SO
Batman
Emmet (Lego Movie)
Rey
Yoda
Cassian Andor
Poe Dameron
Baze Malbus
Monica: Artists
--
Van Eyck
Bernini
Michaelangelo
Vermeer
Van Gogh
Sargent
Waterhouse
Gerome
Caravaggio
Da Vinci
Manet
Monet
Hopper
Rembrandt
Aleijadinho
David
Jeremy: Movie characters/vehicles
--
Batman
Batman Tumbler
Darth Vader
The Delorian
X-Wing
Tim Burton Batmobile
Millennium Falcon
C3P0
R2D2
Number 5
Death Star
E.T.
Roger Rabbit
Marty McFly
Karate Kid
Mr. Miagi
Wesley, Princess Bride
Jeremy: Artists
--
Mark Rothko
Anish Kapoor
James Turrell
Agnes Martin
Josef Albers
Sol LeWitt
Franz Kline
Felix Gonzalez-Torres
Gerhard Richter
Ed Rucha
Joseph Cornell
Barnett Newman
Sargent
Bernini
Richard Serra
I think these lists will serve ass a great memory of our interests at this point in our lives. The drive passed by quickly with this game, and we got to introduce Sam to Back to the Future while we waited to cross the border. Once we passed the border, we went to our motel and the kids got to swim in the pool.
My sister E got engaged to her boyfriend Taylor a few weeks ago! We are very happy for them and wish them great success and happiness in their future together. They got engaged on the cliffs of Étretat in Normandy, and I can't help but think of the 19th-century paintings of that same location.
Boudin, Courbet, and Monet stand out as the three main artists who really focused on painting Étretat (see some information about these artists and a nice compilation of some of their Étretat paintings here). Between October and December of 1885, for example, Monet painted nearly fifty paintings of the Normandy coast! I found a Pinterest compilation for some of the paintings created by Monet, but I don't like how those paintings are cropped in the compilation. I've highlighted some of my personal favorites by Monet, Courbet, and Boudin below:
Monet, The Cliff, Étretat, Sunset, 1883
Monet, Cliffs of the Porte d'Aval, 1885
Monet, Etretat, Cliff of d`Aval, Sunset, 1885
Claude Monet – Coucher de soleil à Étretat, 1883. Oil on canvas, 60x73cm. Nancy, Musée des Beaux-Arts
Monet, The Cliffs at Étretat, 1885. The Clarke Institute (Wikipedia has a darker image here, but I think that the Clarke Institute image is probably closer to the correct color)
Claude Monet Etretat, la porte d’Aval, bateaux de pêche sortant du port, around 1885. Oil on canvas, 60 x 80 cm. Dijon, Musée des Beaux-Arts
Courbet, Bay with Cliffs, c. 1869. Oil on canvas
Courbet, The Sea-Arch at Étretat, 1869. Oil on canvas 79 x 128 cm
Courbet, La Falaise d’Étretat, Van der Heydt-Museum, Wuppertal
Boudin, The Laundresses of Étretat, 1890
(When writing this post, I was amused at this particular subject matter, because I should have included this painting in my "Washer Women" compilation on my art history blog! Ha ha!)
My dearest friend Kelly just shared this article with me, which discusses gender roles and the "mental load" that women carry in relation to household and daily tasks. I do think that this article makes some broad generalizations about society's role in shaping gender and personality characteristics for each gender, but it raises some important points to consider. I feel very lucky to have married a helpful and proactive husband, but I think that both of us would agree that I still bear the majority of "mental load" necessary for running our household. This is partially due to circumstance (since I am at home more than J), but also because of my personality. J describes me as "fastidious" and I think I've become more fastidious since becoming a mother. I like to feel in control of my environment, which encourages me to have a heightened awareness of my surroundings and the tasks that need to be done. I also prefer to do smaller tasks on a regular basis, instead of having to focus on a pileup of tasks all at the same time. This is one way that J and I are different: he doesn't mind doing something at the last minute or waiting until a need is immediate. I also have a lower tolerance for clutter and dirt than J, so chores fill my "mental load" checklist on a more regular basis than they do for J.
That being said, I'm so glad that J knows how to help around the house and assume responsibilities without direction. Even though he isn't as bothered by clutter, he knows that it bothers me so he is more sensitive to clutter on my behalf. I appreciate that he is a conscientious husband. And I want to make sure that I raise Sam in a way that naturally encourages him to avoid gender stereotypes and be prepared to assume the "mental load" for his adult life. And, if he chooses to share his life with someone or have a family, I want him to be prepared to equally share that "mental load" with another. So this article is prompting me to think about the way that Sam completes his chores. I typically assign him to a particular task, but I think I'm going to have him try to look around the house and determine where there is a genuine need for a chore to be performed.
My mom definitely was a person who assumed the "mental load" for our family. I think that this was part of her personality: she liked to assume control so that things would happen in the way that she wanted them to. I think a good portion of her "mental load" involved thinking about things that related to the health and physical well-being of herself and her family (particularly regarding food, cleaning products, or clothing with fabrics that didn't irritate her skin). My mom was busy during of her waking moments. I enjoyed seeing this picture that V showed me earlier this month, because it is a rare image of my mom sleeping (see below). I think I'm probably just a little bit younger than Sam in this photo. This picture is also appropriate, too, because my mom is sleeping on a brown silky pillowcase so that her skin wouldn't touch the cotton pillowcase.
Sometimes I wish I could ask my mom more about this topic of the "mental load" and gender roles now that I'm an adult: I wonder if she felt overwhelmed with the mental load or if she simply could prioritize and took the "mental load" all in stride. I also wish I could ask her what she why she opted for a more traditional division of gender roles when it came to household responsibilities. I have some good guesses as to what she would say, but I wonder if she would give me a more nuanced explanation to me, since I am now an adult with my own household.
I do know, though, that I could have been more aware of things that needed to be done around the house when I was growing up. I remember that I would spend time cleaning my room and organizing my own things (because that was an environment that I could easily control), but I typically would leave my dishes out and not put things away in the kitchen. And there were other small things that I wouldn't assume responsibility for, like replacing empty toilet paper rolls with a fresh roll. When I was growing up, it was common practice for everyone grab a new roll when necessary and simply leave it sitting upright on the back of the toilet (while usually just leaving the empty cardboard roll still in the hanger). When I was a newlywed, I remember J specifically had to ask me to start replacing the toilet paper by hanging the roll on the holder, and I was surprised to realize that I had acquired this quirk! Before that moment, it genuinely never crossed my mind that it was strange to leave the roll out until J pointed it out. It will be interesting to see what quirks (and, hopefully, good habits) Sam and Lucy develop as a product of their upbringing.
I came across a graduation speech that Will Ferrell gave at the University of Southern California. I was struck by his candor and humility, and I particularly liked this quote:
...you will never truly be successful until you learn to give beyond yourself. Empathy and kindness are the true signs of emotional intelligence.
I've been thinking about how Sam is so mature for his age, and I think that it partially is because he has an inherent ability to feel empathy and be kind. A neighborhood boy came over to play this week and the game that he invented with Sam involved hiding behind doors - in the end, the game ended up frightening Lucy. When I came upstairs to see what was going on, Lucy was crying but Sam also got emotional as well. He has an inherent sense of what is the kind thing to do, and I hope that he continues to take his sister's feelings into consideration for the rest of his life.
For some reason, lately I've been thinking about the jewelry that I used to have as a child. Perhaps it's because I found my faux-Victorian "Happy Birthday" tin last summer, when I unearthed a box of my childhood things in my dad's attic. When I was little, I would put some of my keepsakes and jewelry in that tin. I'm pretty sure that I kept a white crystal turtle and a brown crystal hare in there; I got those keepsakes in second grade from my little boyfriend, David S., who went to some place on vacation (I think called the Crystal Forest?) and brought me some the souvenirs.
I also kept jewelry in a ballerina jewelry box (that looked very similar to this one) for a long time. I think I gave that box to one of my little sisters when I got older, and I may have given my sisters some of my jewelry too. I had several necklaces, including an "I [heart] Primary" necklace and an "LDS" necklace with my emerald birthstone.
If I remember right, I think hat I have both a blue-and-orange butterfly pin, and also a white butterfly bookmark. Both of them were made of enamel, and the bookmark had a little gold hook so that the butterfly would rest outside the book, along the spine. I remember that one of these was slightly loose (perhaps the pin?) and I could slightly wiggle the lower two wings. These are the closest things that I have been able to find online that match what I used to have:
I also had a rose pendant that was on a gold chain necklace with simulated pearls and a twist clasp. I'm not sure if it was from the 1928 Collection jewelry line, but the aesthetic is very similar to this one, although my pendant rested on a solid oval base and had this rose shape.
My favorite necklace, at least when I was a teenager, was a "House of Seven Gables" pendant that was shaped like the actual house. I got the necklace in the gift shop of the House of Seven Gables, during my 8th grade trip to Boston (and the surrounding area) and New York City. I found one pendant charm on,one which kind of resembles my pendant, but mine had more definite shape with precise lines (as well as a darker color). But this is kind of close:
I still have one bracelet that I wore as I child; I think I got it when I was around eight or nine years old. It is a braided silver bracelet that only lies flat against the wrist when it is curved in a certain direction; you can't clasp it if it the bracelet is flipped the other way and curved the opposite direction. It still fits me, and when I put it on for this picture I remembered how tricky it is to balance the clasp on your wrist while you try to fasten it:
Now that I have a daughter, I wish that I had hung onto some of my jewelry so that I could pass it along to her. I tend to get rid of things that I don't use regularly, so it's unsurprising that my childhood self had that same tendency to purge items that were too small or didn't get enough use as I got older. If only I had held onto some of these things!
Sam and Lucy are at a fun stage right now, where they enjoy playing with each other. I love this picture that I took of them about six weeks ago, when they had an impromptu after-school snuggle after Sam got home from school. And recently, since the weather is getting warmer, I have loved watching them run around the house and chase each other on the lawn. About a week ago they were speaking to each other in a gibberish language during our lunch, and Lucy was laughing so hard that she was crying! Sam is such a sweet big brother and has a lot of patience for his strong-willed and oft-demanding little sister. One of the moments that I captured on video is when Sam willingly obliged to be a prince and dance with Lucy while she watched "Cinderella" a few weeks ago:
We went to IKEA for a few things in February, and the kids loved getting ice cream and pizza at the bistro afterward.
J took the kids to the Museum of Flight (I think I was volunteering at the art museum this day). Sam's gooney face is typical of the silly faces that he likes to do in photographs right now (unless we force him to "merely" smile).
Ferris Wheel ride!
Fancy dress-up: check
Pajamas underneath: check
Crazy hair: check
Sam on the climbing apparatus in the new KidsQuest. I think I was also volunteering at the museum when J took the kids here
Lucy continues to love snacks. She eat snacks continuously thoughout the day, and she particularly likes eating goldfish crackers, dried cereal, and baby food "crushers" (she only likes three specific flavors that are made by Plum Organics: peaches; a blend of blueberry, pear and purple carrot; and and apple-carrot). We are trying to get her to stop eating crushers, but she loves them so much that it has been hard to scale back. I have to vacuum my car on a very regular basis, because it is constantly filled with crumbs from her snacks. She also loves chocolate (she spits out most fruit-flavored candy), and would probably have all of her snacks consist of chocolate if I allowed it. And I had to promise her a snack so that she would pause for this picture (shown above).
Walking in Kubota Gardens when ixoj and phin came to visit with their families!
Sam won third place in the Pinewood Derby this year! He isn't a competitive person and didn't want to race this year (he only wanted to make a car that looked like a Mustang), but he changed his mind and then ended up doing pretty well in the race!
Probably Lucy's biggest achievement in recent weeks has been giving up her pacifier. I decided to do this while I was on spring break, because I knew the transition and consistent naps might be difficult. I had her cut them up herself, so that she knew that they were irreparably damaged. She had about two or three days of poor naps and difficulty sleeping at night (she screamed with anger and frustration the first two nights), but she has transitioned pretty well. She doesn't always nap consistently anymore, but it was time to get rid of her "pacis." And the most exciting thing for her is that she earned her "princess castle" as a reward for finally giving up her pacifier! She is thrilled with this Fisher Price castle, and she loves that her princess figurines say phrases respective to their characters and sing songs from the Disney movies.
Lucy loved the eyeball benches by Louise Bourgeois when we visited the OSP last month
I love getting to spend my days off of work with Lucy. We usually go to the YMCA and run errands, but sometimes we get to go on fun outings together like our recent day at the Olympic Sculpture Park. Today I picked her up from daycare and she said, "I have an idea!" [And then she spoke in a hushed whisper, which is what I do when I'm trying to get her excited.] "Let's have a picnic at the park!" It was so cute and surprising to see how she was trying to adopt my tactics of coercion, that I just had to agree.
We took the kids to see the new live action Beauty and the Beast film. Lucy wore her Belle dress and got up in the aisle to dance during "Tale As Old As Time." Belle is probably her favorite Disney princess.
I combined two photos together (see below) to remember my most stressful moment of each day: when Sam needs to practice the piano. I really want to focus on Sam and help him improve his piano skills, but Lucy has a hard time when I don't pay enough attention to her. I try to read books with Lucy, but that doesn't always work. These twenty minutes are usually filled with Sam calling, "Mom, I need help!" every few minutes, and then Lucy whines or complains whenever I turn away from her to help Sam. If I sit down on the piano bench next to Sam, Lucy comes over and dramatically moans and burrows her head in my lap. The other week I set up Lucy outside with bubbles and sidewalk chalk, and then I opened the door so that I could see Sam and Lucy at the same time (see photo). It kind of worked, although Lucy intermittently called, "Come outside right now, Mom!" for a several minutes.
Despite the stress of piano lessons and practicing, I'm really proud of Sam and all that he is learning. Right now he is interested in figuring out how to play different songs from third Harry Potter movie ("Prisoner of Azkaban") soundtrack.
You can also get a sense of the chaos that occurs during piano practicing in these video clips, in which Lucy tries to dance and sing "Let It Go" while Sam practices "Malagueña":
Lucy is saying "I'm going down the stairs...like Belle..." in this clip.
Lucy loves to dance, sing, and lip sync. She saw a road show performance (full of musical theater scenes) a few weeks ago, and she adored it. She came to the beginning of one of my choir rehearsals last week, and she has continually been repeating, "When I grow big, I'm going to be in choir." It's very cute. You can hear some of her singing (and Sam's piano playing in the background) in these clips, which also showcase her flair for drama:
*Note how Lucy gets distracted by her fancy toenail polish at the end of this second clip. Ha ha!
The other day the kids and I spent an hour playing frisbee and catch in the front yard. I discovered that Lucy really loves to play catch - maybe she'll play softball like I did!
Lucy loves princess dresses and the color pink. I may have introduced her to some dress-ups (and she also inherited several from family and friends), but her attachment to pink was not encouraged by me! She usually goes through several rounds of dress-ups every afternoon between 3:30 pm and 5:30 pm.
Sam worked hard to spray paint a wooden board that will serve in a few weeks as a carnival balloon game for Cub Scouts. He enjoys scouts and likes getting to spend time with J (who continues to volunteer as the scoutmaster).
Sam has really been doing well in the Discovery Program at school and we are proud of his successes there. He has become good friends with three other boys in his class, and we are sad to learn that both Logan and Truman will be moving away within the next few weeks (before the school year ends). Sam may need to formulate a new play routine at recess soon, since he is losing some of his favorite playmates. He has especially loved getting to know Logan, and feels like he and Logan are exactly the same (he once said they "live in parallel universes"). He continues to be involved in imaginative play - he likes pretending things regarding wizards, dragons, Pokémon, and Minecraft.
Sam still reads voraciously and I've had to try and get him hooked on several new series (which can be a challenge because he really judges books by their covers). He really liked the Obert Skye books (like Pinocula and Potter Wookie) and also read The Spiderwick Chronicles books during reading time at school. lately he's also liked to tell me interesting facts while he read the Einstein the Hamster books by Janet Tashjian. I also got him interested in the House of Robots books too. Just last week I got him interested in the Tombquest series. He is in Book 5 of the Harry Potter series right now (he and J read it in the evenings), and he and I are about halfway through The Adventures of Calico Cotton together. (It was my favorite book as a child, and it has been interesting to read that book as an adult: I'm noticing some flaws in the plot and editing issues that I never considered as a child).
One of the things that I love and admire about Sam is that he has a naturally cheerful disposition. He never talks back and always cheerfully agrees to help when I ask him to do something. He also enthusiastically expresses his amazement or discovery when he has learned something new, and I think that the last sentence in a homework page (see above) really captures his personality and cute sense of wonder well.
I really feel so lucky to have such wonderful children. Sam is so mature and kind. He is an inherently good person and I really don't need to discipline him. Several weeks ago I caught Sam in a little white lie (he claimed to have eaten some yogurt that I had set aside for his snack, when in actuality he didn't eat anything), and he sobbed and sobbed once he could tell that I realized he lied. I didn't really need to discipline him at all, beyond expressing how important it is to be honest (and that he could have just explained to me that he wasn't hungry). He really does try to do what is right, and he is willing to sacrifice his personal interests to help his family members be happy. I am grateful for him.
Lucy is also a fun little spunky light in my life. She takes a little bit more work to keep happy, but I love her cute little presence and curiosity. I enjoy watching her take interest in art, music, singing, and dance. I feel like I'm getting a well-rounded experience as a parent, because my children have different interests and personalities. Overall, though, they are very similar in their creative, curious minds and their kind hearts.
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