Attitudes Toward Pregnancy

I took this picture about a week ago, just an hour or two after I received an email from woman about a post that I recently wrote on my art history blog about depictions of pregnant women in art. This woman, who has three children, thanked me for my post and told me that she feels like pregnancy isn't celebrated enough in our society. She also feels like some cultural attitudes should shift in relation to how women are perceived. In her opinion, she feels like a woman loses her identity while pregnant, because there is so much focus on the growing fetus. In other words, current culture causes the pregnant woman to change from an individual to a mere "vessel."

I can see this woman's point of view. From a cultural standpoint, there is a lot of focus on the unborn baby when a woman is pregnant. When I was pregnant with Sam (and even the mother of a newborn), I think I was overly sensitive to how my socio-cultural identity had somewhat changed, at least in how I felt like I was treated and perceived by others. Really, I was kinda grumpy. But I do understand why people asked me so much about my pregnancy and the like. After all, the baby's somewhat-unseen presence affects the lifestyle, physical appearance, and sometimes health of the pregnant woman. But, at the same time, the pregnant woman, in terms of her character and personality, usually is still very much the same as her pre-pregnant self.

So pregnancy is a period which is tricky in terms of a woman's identity. One of the things that is inherent to a woman's body is the potential for it temporarily to be not one individual, but two. So should individualism (and personal capabilities that are not gender-specific) be celebrated, or should the inherent capabilities of a woman's body be celebrated during this temporary period? It seems like kind of a conundrum from a feminist's perspective, although it doesn't need to be.

I think there needs to be a balance between celebrating the individualism of the pregnant woman, while still recognizing the characteristics of her body which are inherently feminine. And, as a result, I realized that I should spend more time celebrating this second pregnancy and the changes that are taking place in my body. I had a hard time doing that when I was pregnant the first time. But I've been through one pregnancy and now realize that my inherent identity won't really change, so I don't need to feel so defensive and touchy at shifts in cultural attitudes (although I realize that I'm writing this at an optimistic point in the second trimester - I may get grumpy as the weeks roll on!). Nonetheless, I'm going to try and enjoy this time being pregnant and document it more than I did when I was pregnant with Sam. Hence, the selfie picture at seventeen weeks.

Pocahontas and Heraclitus

The other day I looked up information about the philosopher Heraclitus. I knew that in The School of Athens Raphael had painted Michelangelo's features on the figure of Heraclitus (see detail above), but I didn't know much about the philosopher himself. I learned that Heraclitus was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher (or in art history terms, one who lived during the Archaic period). He is best known for emphasizing that the universe is constantly changing, a sentiment which is typified in this phrase attributed to him: "No man steps in the same river twice."

I realized later that same day, when listening to a Disney soundtrack with Sam, that Pocahontas basically sings these same words in her song, "Just Around the Riverbend." The song (see clip HERE) starts with the phrase, "What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice" (my emphasis). Who knew that Pocahontas, a Native American during the early colonial period, was well versed in ancient Greek philosophy? ;) More seriously, though, I think that this subtle (albeit ahistorical) nod at philosophy does help to emphasize wisdom and perspicacity of Pocahontas's character. (She also has some interesting post-Equal-Rights-Movement sentiment in "Colors of the Wind," which is interesting given that this story is set during the colonial era, but that's a different ahistorical point!)

On a side note, I also wanted to mention that I've decided that Pocahontas's singing voice (sung by Judy Kuhn) is my second favorite voice of Disney female characters. (It is second only to that of Aurora, who has always been my favorite Disney singer). Lately I've had a lot of time to scrutinize the voices of Disney characters with Sam's soundtracks, and many of the female voices are a bit too nasaly or "forward" to my liking. The voices of Rapunzel (from "Tangled") and Meg (from "Hercules") are my least favorite, I think. Pocahontas/Judy Kuhn has a really nice "mix" sound, though, which I like a lot.

Letting Go

Over the past few months, I have realized that I need to let Sam make his own decisions. I'm starting to relinquish the control that I've had over my little boy's style and bedroom design, for one thing. A few months ago, Sam got a Lego Star Wars poster of Yoda at a library event, and he immediately wanted to hang it in his room. I've never wanted to have Sam's bedroom decorations be "commercial" or "busy" by any means, but I also want his room to be his own personal space. This is the photo that I took after we ended up hanging the new poster on the wall:

And now, this week, I have had another experience in which I've let Sam make his own decisions (instead of superimposing my own choices on Sam). Sam needed a new pair of sneakers, and while shopping with Sam it became very apparent that it was very important to wear "light shoes." I'm sure you know which ones - they are the shoes which flash lights every time you take a step. Little did I know it, but almost all of Sam's friends in kindergarten have light shoes. Personally, I think they are annoying and distracting. But to a kindergarten boy, they are the coolest things in the world. Once I could tell that he was fixated on getting a pair, I let him have his way. We found a pair of light shoes that is probably as non-intrusive as they come (which is still pretty flashy and exciting, nonetheless). Actually, it was hard to find light shoes in Sam's size. His feet are big enough that he is starting to phase into "older boy" styles, so this may be the only time that he is able to wear this kind of shoe.

 I took this picture right outside of the shoe store - you can only see one of the white lights flashing on the side of Sam's foot. I jokingly called him "Twinkle Toes" as we walked outside in the dark tonight.

Speaking of "letting go," I've also thought a little bit about an article which J saw on Facebook the other week. This article discusses how Americans need to let children make more of their own decisions, try things out, and experience the consequences of their actions. Although J and I both think that situations are more complex than the author seems to acknowledge, I think there is a lot to consider here. I think that I have coddled Sam a little bit too much, partly because he is an only child, but also because I haven't developed the patience or the tolerance for messes that are required if a child figures things out on their own. I'm working on it, though. Hopefully J can remind me when I am making life too easy for Sam.

Saint Edwards State Park: Grotto and Seminary Trails

Today was a really rejuvenating day for me. I feel like the past few months have been a fog of cold weather and gray skies, not to mention a lot of exhaustion (and some nausea) on my part. But today, we had some beautiful blue skies and sunshine - and I had the energy to take advantage of it! I feel like the past two weeks have really been a turning point for me in regards to feeling more energetic and normal.

We decided to go to Saint Edwards State Park. Sam and I visited this park last summer, but J had yet to see it. I knew that he would enjoy the architecture of the seminary and the grounds, so I was glad that we went here. Although the skies were partially-cloudy at times (I think that the skies were more clear further south), we still got some pretty decent weather.

We let Sam play on the awesome playground for a bit, and then we headed on a short hike down to the beach. We took the "Grotto" trail (0.4 miles) down to the beach (off of Lake Washington), and then hiked the "Seminary Trail" (0.6 miles) back up to the main park grounds.

At the beginning of the Grotto trail. Sam is holding Ted. E. Bear, his kindergarten class's stuffed animal. We get to keep Ted this weekend and record his adventures with us in Ted's scrapbook.

Some interesting fungus that was on a log near the beach

The light shining through the trees were especially lovely as we walked up the seminary trail. The trail was also dry enough that I could smell the dirt of the trail and the pine needles - it reminded me a bit of what the Northwest smells like in the summer.

 

I never saw this back part of the seminary when we came last summer. It was fun to see this side of the building and read a sign that gave some historical context. I think that I want to call this "The Medieval Park" for our family, because of the Romanesque-style tower of the seminary. The playground also reminds me a bit of a medieval fortress, with all of the bridges and the steeply-pitched roofs of the play structures.

Lack of Interest in Watching Sports

NOPE!

The other night, I declined my friend's invitation to watch a Seahawks game on television. My friend teasingly sent me a text afterward, "How can you not be excited about the Seahawks this year?!?" The truth is, I've never been excited about football. I'm not really excited about watching competitive sports in general. I'll go to sporting events if I have to for some reason, but I would never come up with the idea to do that kind of activity on my own. I'm proud of the fact that I never attended a single football game during my whole time in college. While I was getting my undergraduate and graduate degrees, I think the only sporting events I attended were two college volleyball games.

Since my friend sent me that text, I've been thinking about why I am not interested in sports. I think that the biggest factor is that I didn't watch sports on the television as a kid. My mom discouraged us from watching almost any kind of broadcast television; we usually were only allowed to watch children's shows and old films on VHS tapes. Our television's antenna sometimes was intentionally disconnected so we couldn't get reception for the television, anyway. And, when we were allowed to watch television, we were only allowed to watch the PBS channel. Hence, no sports.

I also wasn't taken to sporting events as a child, due to my dad's busy schedule and my mom's disinterest. My mom also discouraged my dad from talking about the outcome of college basketball and football games on Sundays (usually the day after the game took place), because she didn't feel like it was appropriate conversation to hold on the Sabbath. So, despite my dad's own interest in BYU basketball and football, I didn't really have exposure from him either. None of my siblings have a keen interest in competitive sporting events either, and I assume that it due to our collective upbringing.

I did participate in sports myself: I played volleyball, basketball, and softball regularly as a tween and teenager. And I really enjoyed participating in those games. I like exercising, and I do have a competitive streak when I play. But I never liked watching other people play very much. And now, as a mother with limited time, I would much rather read a book, watch an interesting film, or even exercise myself, than watch a sports game. I have no shame or regret in declining an invitation to watch a sporting event!

Goodbye, 2013 Planner!

 Tonight I have been trying to make a full transition from my 2013 planner to my 2014 planner. I really love the planner that I used last year, and I was really dismayed to discover that TF Publishing no longer makes this type of engagement planner. Shame on them! These are the great things about this planner:

• Hardbound binding (no annoying spirals or lame plastic covers)
• A section to record birthdays (and dates to remember) for the entire year
• Lots of room to write for each day
• Each week can be seen at-a-glance
• The pages for each week are flanked with extra lined pages for lists: "To Note," "To Do" and "Shopping List"
• A ribbon bookmark

The extra pages that flank the weekly calendars make this planner thicker than most, but I didn't mind at all. I loved having extra space to record notes from lectures and films. I also loved having a "To Do" list for each week, in case I couldn't fit all of my necessary projects and activities in the weekly calendar pages. And most of all, I loved having so much space to write for each day. I could write down my appointments, class lecture plans, and even obscure student questions (that I promised to research). You can get a sense of how I used my planner in the image above - that Monday was a particularly good day for student questions.

Anyhow, I have yet to find a planner that is designed as well as this one, particularly in terms of how space is utilized. I did get a new planner which is kinda-sorta close to what I had, but there isn't nearly as much space to write. (My only consolation is that the planner is decorated with Van Gogh's "Almond Blossom" painting, which I love.) I suppose something will have to give. Either my schedule needs to free up or I need to shrink the size of my penmanship!

Since I've written so much in this planner, it's hard to let it go. I feel like it is a pretty good encapsulation of my life from last year. I can tell (and remember) what weeks were stressful, based on how much is written. I remember feeling accomplished when I look at the pages in which every single "to do" item is crossed off. I can tell when I enjoyed lazy summer weeks with Sam, when we had hardly anything to do. I see what we successively did each day during our trip to England.

Do you love physical planners and calendars? I wonder if I'm part of a dying breed. J keeps his calendars in digital format, but I rarely find myself using those. I like having something tangible in which I can quickly write. And I think my planner is much more versatile because it is in physical format. Plus, I think much more fun to reminisce about the past year when looking at an actual book, than on a phone or digital calendar.

San Diego Zoo Pictures and J

My favorite Christmas present this year was the one that I gave to J. The week before Christmas, I put everything else on hold and I madly scrapbooked for six to eight hours a day, when J was at work. Several years ago my mother-in-law had given me two boxes filled with photos from J's life, from 1987-1994. All of the photos were in order, and I just needed to put them into scrapbook form.

As I was going through the pictures, I came across a photo taken of J at the San Diego Zoo. I immediately recognized the set and pulled out my own scrapbook. I found a similar picture of me, in the exact same spot, although mine was taken a year before the one of J. The romantic in me had hopes that our pictures were taken the same year (what if we were at the zoo on the same day?!?), but I do like the fact that we are both six years old when our respective pictures were taken. I don't think that this photo op set exists anymore, but it would be fun to take a trip to San Diego and have a similar picture taken when Sam is six.

Several times I have been thinking this month about how much I love J and I'm lucky to be his wife. He is such a considerate, kind man who constantly considers what Sam and I need to be happy and comfortable. I love that he is such a thoughtful person too: he likes to reflect and tackle deep questions and ideas. Some of my favorite moments with J involve discussions that we have had about films, art, religion, philosophy, etc.

I can only hope that Sam grows up to be as good of a man as his father. Sam is a sensitive and kind person by nature, I think, which is a good start. He also likes to emulate his dad: he was thrilled the other week when he and J were wearing similar outfits to my choir performance. I hope he continues to want to be like his dad.

I love these two boys, and I think the world of them.