To Age Gracefully and Willingly

I've been thinking a lot about age over the past few days. One of my best friends, Rachael, turned forty last week, which has prompted lots of reflection and celebration. Rachael, Carrie, and I went to the MarQueen Hotel to celebrate, as we have all been fully vaccinated - it was the first time I had been in a hotel in over fifteen months due to the pandemic! We took a lot of pictures, although I couldn't help but reflect on how we looked old in the pictures. Not just young moms, but like seasoned moms on a middle-aged "girls" night. Which, in truth, that is what we are: seasoned moms who have been raising our kids together for the past 10+ years.

I'm not even forty yet, but Rachael's birthday (and Carrie's impending 40th birthday) have made be reflective. There is so much that one can accomplish in the first forty years of life, and it also make one wonder what is left in store. And it just so happens that this week other articles about Millenials turning forty came out, stating that it is the "old age of youth" (the term "geriatric Millenials" has gone viral over the past week or so) and that better things happen when one is in their fifties. I guess we'll see how the next decade pans out for me and my friends!

These things about aging were in the back of my mind yesterday, as I was listening to C. S. Lewis's "The Last Battle" on audiobook (read by Patrick Stewart, who did a fantastic performance). I was struck by this quote about Susan Pevensie, who at this time must be in her late teens or twenties:

“Grown-up, indeed,” said the Lady Polly, “I wish [Susan] would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she’ll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that way. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one’s life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can.”

This quote has made me think about what period in my life do I want to enjoy the most, and I hope that my answer will continually be "the present." I'd rather not spend time wishing that I was trying to stay at a time in my life that has already passed me by. Of course, I want to keep my body as healthy as possible, but I think that's different from trying to stop myself from aging or wish that I was a different age. I hope that I can be a person who is content about their stage in life and the things that happen to one's body with age. If I'm going to be a seasoned mom of older kids right now, then so be it.

Reading Outside

I had this painting by a Swedish artist, Johan Krouthén, saved on my phone lockscreen for the past month. I like the thought of reading outside with my friends in the middle of a forest.

Johan Krouthén, "Three Reading Woman in a Summer Landscape," 1908 (see high-res image)

Outdoor Scenes and Caring for Grandma

About two weeks ago, my grandma woke up and found that she didn't have the strength to stand up on her own. My extended family members - especially my two aunts - have been working hard to figure out solutions to help ensure that Grandma gets the care she needs (and also finding care that can fits within Grandma's financial means). These past two weeks have made me think a lot about caring for the elderly, those who are infirm, and also the things that I want to do to prepare for when I'm older. I hope I will be able to maintain my independence in the years to come, both physically and financially.

These paintings make it seem so lovely and peaceful to care for someone who is old or infirm. I don't think I'll spend much time outdoors when I see my grandma next, but I like these romanticized views nonetheless:

Vasily Polenov, "Grandmother's Garden," 1879. (High-res image)

John Lavery, "Convalescence in the Apple Orchard," 1885

My May Day Marathon!

Last weekend I ran a marathon! This was a goal that I've wanted to achieve for a long time, but I didn't think it was possible. I always excused myself by saying things like, "My knees can't handle it." But I decided to legitimately train for it and try, and I was able to run it! I didn't do an organized race; I plotted the 26.2 mile route myself and ran it on my own.

Being the great friends that they are, Carrie and Rachael offered to run the race with me. And while I also liked that idea, I realized that it would better for me, mentally, to do the run on my own. They are much faster runners than me, and I knew that I wouldn't enjoy myself as much if I knew that I was slowing them down. By running on my own, I could go at my own pace and also listen to books/music without thinking about whether I was sufficiently socializing along the way.

But Carrie and Rachael still were so supportive and found a lot of ways to make this run special for me. They made countless signs and showed up the night beforehand with a "swag bag" that included a t-shirt, energy bars and snacks, pasta (for carb loading), an inspirational letter, a marathon number tag, and even a 26.2 sticker. They decorated my yard with signs for me to see in the morning, and then stopped five times along the route to cheer me on. They are such great friends, and they really made this day so special for me.

I didn't run a fast marathon: the first third of the run I had a ten minute mile, the second third of the run was an eleven minute mile, and then the last six miles were rough - I was running about a twelve minute mile. But I did it! The time that I felt best on my run was about 14 miles into the run. I was running along the bank of Lake Washington, along a sidewalk that was covered with pink cherry blossom petals. Some of the powerhouse singers that I was listening to at this point in the run were:

• "(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman" by Aretha Franklin
• "Listen" by Beyoncé (from the "Dreamgirls" film soundtrack)
• "Rise Up" by Andra Day
• "I Have Nothing" by Whitney Houston

J and the kids met me about halfway through my run with signs. And then, not long after I ran the Seward Park loop, I got a call from E that she had her baby that same morning! So at Mile 18 I got a boost by learning that there was a Baby Oliver to love! I knew it was a possibility that E might have her baby that morning, and I had even left her a message earlier in my run, saying that I was running to the beat of the "Oliver" song (from the musical) in my head. It was so exciting to get a call and find that he actually had arrived!

I actually had to end my call with E after several minutes, because I was surprised to run into Carrie and Rachael on the trail - it was their first stop along the route to cheer me on. It was really encouraging to run into them during those last miles, and I was really touched that they waited along the route as I (slowly) progressed.

As I was nearing the last bit of the route, I realized that I was probably going to reach my goal earlier than I thought. I think I must have picked up a little over half a mile by crossing streets and running in a slightly less-linear route sometimes to maintain social distancing. So I ended up calling J and asking him to pick me up at Coulon, because I didn't want to have to run that last leg if I'd already met my goal! Carrie and Rachael also met us at the park, and they kept running with the finish line ahead of me, until I finally hit the 26.2 mark!

Then I immediately got in the car and J drove me home, where the Dinner Group families were waiting to welcome me. They had even made a finish line for me in sidewalk chalk. Even in just sitting in the car for the drive home though, my legs started to cramp up. So when J pulled up to the house and I got out to run across this last finish line, my legs really protested! But I did it!

Carrie had an "MM" medal made for me, which I cherish more than the Inca Virtual Marathon medal that I also earned through "The Conqueror" app (even though the Inca medal is really cool). But I felt so much love on this day, and it was a great kickstart to my birthday celebrations. Rachael even made a chocolate mousse cake, which tasted so good!

And now, I'm recovering from the race. I had to use handrails for the day or two following the race, whcih was expected. I also have had some lower back pain, too. In fact, my lower back was giving me some grief during my taper before the race (I think it was used to the long runs and felt strange when I cut back on mileage). I didn't have any back pain during the race or the following day or two after, but the dull ache came back earlier this week after the race. Yoga and barre exercises have helped a bit. I've gone out on two short runs (1.5 to 2 miles), but my right knee feels a bit achy and my right hip keeps making a clicking pop with each step. So I can tell that I'm not back to normal yet.  I've read that some people say it takes two weeks to recover, whereas others say that the recovery should last as long as the miles of the race (i.e. 26 days).

Now that things are over though, I do feel a little bit unmoored and bereft. Training for this run has been really great for me during this pandemic, because my weeks had structure through the training schedule. And I've felt like I was progressing toward a goal, which was good for me mentally. I don't know what my next goal will be. I don't think I'm going to be a continuous marathon runner; I think half marathons might be more my jam, because the running is still enjoyable for me at that length. Once I get closer to 20 miles, I feel like the experience of running is more about mental endurance than enjoyment of the experience. I'm not sure what kind of training or physical fitness goals are in my future, but I'm sure I'll find something. I know that I'm forward to doing more Zumba, barre and yoga, though, since those were put aside while I did all of my runs. And I look forward to summer bike rides, especially so I can finish earning my Camino de Santiago virtual challenge!

"I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud"

 

The kids are on Spring Break this week, and we visited the Tulip Festival as a mid-week activity. I'm so glad that the festival is happening this year. We have gone every year that we have lived here, except last year the festival was completely closed due to Covid. The closures happened just weeks before the festival was supposed to begin, and the farmers really suffered. I'm especially grateful that we could go this year.

I like to go earlier in the festival weeks, so that we can catch the beginnings of the tulips with the outgoing daffodils. There weren't as many tulips open as I hoped (although we did see plenty), but the daffodil fields were fabulous and full of color! 

Every time I see fields of daffodils, I'm reminded of the song "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud" that I sang when I was in my first sixth grade choir. This song, inspired by Wordsworth's famous poem, is fun because the music parts "dance" and interplay with each other to create text painting that mimics the dancing of the daffodils in the wind. I still remember my choral part, and Vivian told me recently that she still remembers her part too. I've been searching for weeks to figure out the composer. The song was stuck in my head this afternoon (due to this trip to see the daffodil fields), and I finally figured out the composer from an obscure YouTube video. The version that we sang was by Mary Lynn Lightfoot (and I've been discovering some of her other choral compositions today too, and I really like her work). I ordered the sheet music so I can have a copy. If only our director Mrs. Burke knew that I still remembered the song she taught me over twenty-five years ago!

Things I'm Learning about Running

For the past month, each Saturday I have run farther distances than I have ever run in my life. I'm learning new things about distance running and what my body is capable of doing. Here are some things that I have learned thus far:

• I had quite a bit of lower back pain and some knee pain when I was about six weeks into my training program. It was rough for about two or three weeks, but I stuck with it and it seemed like one day my body stopped protesting and accepted that this running routine was the new "normal."
• The Adidas Ultraboost 5.0 DNA running shoes have ended up being really comfortable on my feet. I think that also helped to get rid of my back pain, because I was wearing some old Nike trainers during the first part of my training.
• OOFOS Slip-On Recovery Shoes have been really helpful to wear after my long runs. They help to minimize impact on my joints and allow my legs to rest more.
• I haven't quite figured out the reason for this, but sometimes when I'm running one of my feet will have some tingly sensations in one or two of the toes (usually my some of my middle toes, not my big toe or pinky). I think it happens more-so in my left foot. I try to curl my toes and release them between footfalls and that sometimes helps. I'm not sure if it is due to a footfall issue or something else, but this is a post that talks a little about some possibilities for what might be going on. I don't think it's due to my shoes or my laces, though.
• Eating something small after about ten miles (and every five miles after that) helps me to maintain my energy. I've been eating fruit leather strips for quick carbohydrates.
• Applying Vaseline to my inner thighs, backs, and shoulders before a long run helps with chafing from my Camelbak pouch and leg movement. It seems helpful to do this for any run that is about 13 miles or longer.

UPDATE 4/26:

• After running for weeks without back pain, I've had this funky lower back pain come back. It started about five days after my 20 mile run (after I was a few days into my taper). I've read a little bit about "phantom pains" that can start during a taper while your body given more of a chance to recover, but I think this might be the result of sitting on the sofa and in the car for multiple hours a day on Thursday and Friday (the sofa has become my go-to workstation for grading and prepping). My 8.5 mile run on Saturday didn't help things at all. It felt fine while I was running but then gave me a lot of grief for the rest of the day. I watched this video about how to place my hips while running, and I think that helped me a bit for my run today. I think I might curve my back (and stick out my rear) too far when I run? I tried to think more about posture and alignment while I ran today. There's so much to think about, while at the same time running is also very mechanical and repetitive.

Running during Covid

I have been thinking a lot about why I have been running so much during this pandemic. On one hand, logically, being outside is a way to combat cabin fever. But running is so much more than that, I’m realizing. During the day when I am at home, I am often frazzled as I try to work. I am constantly, constantly interrupted and hardly get a chance focus on a single task for ten minutes at a time. As soon as I start to do something, Violet barks and wants to be let out, or Lucy needs my help with something. Or Sam wants to ask about what we are having for dinner. Or one of the kids needs to practice the piano or listen to a video for school. For most of the day, I can’t do anything in a straight, linear fashion from beginning to end.

 

But I can do exactly that when I am running. I can choose a long (linear) road and follow it until my desired goal. I don’t have to stop unless I decide that I want to. I am not interrupted, and I can think about whatever I want to think about. I always am in a better mental space when I finish running, and when I return home I feel more prepared to deal with the multitasking and being pulled in many directions at once.

I know that for many people, it is comforting and relaxing to run because their body moves in a constant, rhythmic pattern. I think that is the case for me too, but I think my mental health really responds to being able to accomplish a goal in a direct, linear, and controlled way.

Addendum:

2/17/21: I was thinking about this post today, as I went on a run along the west end of the Snoqualmie River Trail (starting at Rachael's house). The trail was wide, flat, and very straight; it went ahead as far as the eye could see. And I really loved how the trail was laid out in this very direct way, so that my goal and end point seemed viable.

This is such a lovely and peaceful trail! This is part of Rachel's regular running route (it is about 6.5 miles to run there and then back to her house). I'm glad she gets to enjoy this beauty on a regular basis.

This is just after the Mt. Si Golf Course

I loved seeing the tall trees that lined the path

The end of the trail

I was struck by so many different colors and types of water along this trail. Some sections were frozen, but here the water was a pretty green color

It was invigorating to smell the dried hay in this field as I was making my way back to the beginning of the route