A crotchety old man got mad at me in the grocery store today. It's not worth rehashing the details here, but basically he became upset because I inadvertently blocked his view of a product demonstration. He authoritatively said, "You shouldn't have blocked my view" and "You shouldn't do that." I apologized and kindly tried to explain my reasoning for maneuvering in his direction, but he kept on wanting to lecture about what I "should" or "shouldn't" do. I was rather unnerved at his condescending approach to superimposing protocol (and decency?), and my fiesty side wanted to say all sorts of things about how he "should" and "shouldn't" treat total strangers.
But I just pushed my grocery cart and walked away.
As I left the store, I began to wonder why that man felt like he could lecture me on how I "should" and "shouldn't" act. Is it because I'm younger than him? Because I'm a woman? Because he hates mothers and/or toddlers? Or maybe he treats everyone that way? Hmm.
Has anyone else been lectured by a complete stranger before? How did you react? How would you react if a stranger gave you a lecture on how you "should" or "shouldn't" act?
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11 comments:
I'm a fairly impatient person myself, so when I get lectures from total strangers (or not-so-strangers), I usually just hope and pray that God and others will be patient with me when I go on a tirade of my own. The man you met probably has all kinds of aches and pains and a sucky life. And if not, may he have them henceforth.
It was probably best to just walk away. Depending on my mood at the time, I may have said something feisty to him, but it really doesn't do any good to be mean back (much as he deserves it).
I'm with ixoj - that dude is LUCKY you are nice and generally non-combative, but I would wish a feisty New Yorker on him for his own good. It's his assumption that he was entitled to lecture you that blows my mind.
As for me, I once tried using a soothing calm voice on a raving mentally ill person in a store once, and got a mouthful of...I don't want to know what...spat on me for my troubles. Sometimes walking away is the kindest option for all concerned.
Wow, your post really seems to perfectly coincide with my life right now. I've had a couple of the same things happen recently and they've been eating me up. Whenever anyone goes off on me or is rude to me, I too generally just walk away or end up apologizing like crazy (for doing nothing too). Plus, it tends to just eat at me for a long time.
I think that's the worst part of it for me -- is that I have a hard time letting other people's rude behavior roll off my shoulder.
I was on a bike ride the other day with my sister and my friend. We were "kind of" blocking the road. Some lady came riding down and yelled at us saying we should get out of the gutter. Sarah yelled back at her that we will repent. It was funny.
One time a lady opened a door for me, (I was manuevring a stroller through the door) but I smiled at her, nodded, and said thanks a bit breathlessly. I guess she didn't hear me. She got really mad and said, "You should say Thank You!" Her tone of voice was so blatant and rude and TOXIC. I felt sick in the gut after that. It definitely ruined my shopping trip, and I went home early that day. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt, but mostly my own pride was hurt that she pretty much "accused" me of being a rude person. I kept thinking, "If she just knew me..."
I try to keep cool, while inwardly coming up with amazing zingers in my head and totally schooling him with my impeccable reasoning and argumentation.
you did the right thing to walk away, but you could of said something like "I apologize for not meeting your expectations!"
I tend to be a bit of a pushover, so if I had encountered that man, I probably would have been full of apologies, even if I thought he was extremely rude. I wish I wasn't so much like this...but I'm working on it!
Thanks for the comments, everyone. Obviously, I'm not the only person who has been lectured by a complete stranger. It's not very fun, is it? I mostly hate the aftermath of such confrontations: I hate dwelling on the situation (and continually thinking up "amazing zingers" like Rachael mentioned!). Oh well.
I think that Rebekah is right - sometimes walking away is the best thing for all people concerned. Maybe the world would be a better place if everyone would just walk away from combative situations.
Oh, and Krystal: I can relate to how your shopping trip was ruined. I wandered aimlessly through the grocery store afterward. It was hard for me to focus after that confrontation. I felt the same way, too: if that person "just knew me," he'd know that I wasn't intentionally trying to ruin his life by blocking his view. Sigh.
I wonder if he felt strange afterward, or if it was easy for him to go his merry way after lecturing me.
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