new hair for a new year

Out with the old tresses, and in with the new...

We have already done some eventful things for 2010, including the new haircut I got on New Year's Day. I think this is the shortest that my hair has been since I was little. The only time I can remember shorter hair was when was six and I cut my hair myself (and then my hair was subsequently cut four other times to try and make me look presentable).

On the night of the 1st we went to a botanical garden near our house. Every year the garden is decorated with a bunch of Christmas lights, with most of them in the shape of different plants and flowers. It's fun to visit a garden in the middle of winter, even if the flowers aren't real.



How did you celebrate the New Year?

2009 = 35 books

I've anticipated this post for a long time. I realize, though, that this post is more for me than for anyone who reads this blog - sorry.

About half-way through this year, I thought it would be fun to read 52 books during 2009 - then I would average one book per week. If I had made the goal earlier in the year, I think I could have attained it. I'm still really pleased that I was able to read 35 books this year. That number may seem high or low to you, gentle reader, but it's a pretty sizable amount of reading for me. Here's the list (in somewhat chronological order) of my 2009 reads:

1) Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell by Susana Clarke
2) The Ladies of Grace Adieu by Susana Clarke
3) Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass
4) Incidents in the Life of Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs
5) The Gardner Heist by Ulrich Boser
6) The Rescue Artist: A True Story of Art, Thieves, and the Hunt for a Missing Masterpiece by Edward Dolnick
7) The Murder Room by P. D. James
8) Lilith by George MacDonald
9) Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brien
10) Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
11) Tales of Beedle the Bard by J. K. Rowling
12) When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron
13) L. Frank Baum: Creator of Oz by Katharine M. Rogers
14) Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise by Ruth Reichl
15) The Man Who Made Vermeers by Jonathan Lopez
16) The Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan
17) The Hemingses of Monticello by Annette Gordon-Reed
18) Silas Marner by George Eliot
19) The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer
20) Dark Water: Flood and Redemption in the City of Masterpieces by Robert Clark
21) The Changing Status of the Artist, edited by Emma Barker, Nick Webb, and Kim Woods
22) The Challenge of the Avant-Garde, edited by Paul Wood
23) A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks
24) FDR's Unfinished Portrait: A Memoir by Elizabeth Shoumatoff
25) The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
26) Faraway Child by Amy Maida Wadsworth
27) House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros
28) The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde
29) The Great Pretenders: The True Stories behind Famous Historical Mysteries by Jan Bondeson
30) The Lives of the Artists by Giorgio Vasari
31) The Father Christmas Letters by J. R. R. Tolkein
32) A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engel
33) The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkein
34) The Life of Our Lord: Written Especially for His Children by Charles Dickens
35) Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

How many books did you read this year? Did you meet your reading expectations? Do you have any must-read recommendations for my 2010 reading list?

By the way, don't you love the photograph at the top of this post? J took this photo a few years ago, when we visited a used bookstore in Rio de Janeiro. This was the front-window display of the store. Pretty awesome, huh?

Happy New Year with lots of happy reading!

christmas picture 2009

Christmas 2008

This picture was taken last Christmas, just hours before my mom mentioned on the phone that she didn't feel well. She ended up going to the hospital two days later and was subsequently diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. And ever since then, life became a whirlwind of anxiety. Consequently, this picture was last "calm before the storm" moment that we experienced before my mom was diagnosed.

I'm not going to lie: the year 2009 has kicked. my. trash. There have been many deep-seated worries and problems this year - sometimes I wonder how I've pulled through. But here I am, and life is going on. And it's time for a new Christmas picture:

Perhaps we look a little haggard, but we're still here. And we're looking forward to the new year and grateful for the prospects that it has to offer.

Merry Christmas.

my mom: 1958-2009

I imagine that most people know that my mom passed away about a week ago. She passed away at home, surrounded by most of my family. My brother called me about ten minutes later, and J, Sam and I hopped on the next flight to Utah.

I don't even know how to describe all of the different emotions and feelings that I've experienced this past week. Earlier this month my friend E compared grief to an alarm clock, and now I totally can relate to her comparison. Grief, pain, sadness and deeply-rooted emotions can come to the surface on very short notice. And other times, though, I feel like I can function alright. It just depends on the minute, or the hour, or the day.

More than anything, though, I hope that my dad will be okay. His "alarm clock" goes off a lot (and understandably so). I know that he's lonely, and I'm sure he's really scared to take care of seven kids by himself (well, I guess six kids, since I'm married and out-of-the-house.). But I think we'll be alright. If God trusts our family to be alright without Mom, then I'm sure it will happen.

I don't really want to revisit the details of the funeral or the past week, but I wanted to point out two things that have really stuck out to me. Soon after mom died, I began to think about how the holiday season would forever be remembered as a sad time, the time that we lost mom. However, I'm so grateful for my sister's different perspective. She mentioned how she was grateful for the ongoing Christmas season, since we are reminded of Christ's sacrifice and gift of resurrection. Her comment (which I actually heard second-hand) has really helped change my attitude and perspective. I have never looked-for or appreciated the Christmas symbols associated with Christ (and specifically, the resurrection) to the degree that I have this year. And they have helped me feel some peace and comfort.

I also have never have fully appreciated the title "Plan of Happiness" until now. My dad spoke at the funeral, and he mentioned God's "Plan of Happiness" with a sob in his voice. Even though it was a sad sob, the sound was also laced with tones of hope and gratitude. I feel like now I can fully appreciate the happiness that God has provided for his children, mostly because I can truly comprehend the greatness of the gifts of resurrection and eternal families.

Thanks to all of the friends and family members who have extended warmth, love, and friendship to me and my family. It's really strange to feel such conflicting emotions: one one hand, we feel so much grief and pain, but on the other hand, we feel overwhelmed with love and kindness. Sometimes I have cried not because I'm sad, but because I feel so much love.

thanksgiving pictures

My mom is home from the hospital. She seems to be doing alright - much better than last week, anyway. I'm still staying on edge, though, just in case I need to take an emergency trip to Utah. This week I have been scrambling around, trying to get on top of everything. I've been prepping like mad for my upcoming class (which starts a month!), completing university orientation/training sessions, reading through my stack of library books, doing Christmas shopping, etc.

Posting some Thanksgiving pictures is also on my to-do list. We didn't take a lot of pictures during this trip (we kept busy doing other stuff), but enjoy what paucity I have:

Sam got to see all of his surviving great-grandparents on this trip. We didn't get pictures with all of them, but we did get some. These are my grandparents on Thanksgiving Day; the photo was taken in my other grandparents' home.

Visiting the Grandpaxes with N (who took this picture), SJ, and Little N

Sam loved to brush L's hair

This week has been a little like Christmas at our house. My friend gave me a huge bin full of toys that she doesn't need anymore - and these aren't just any toys, but really nice, expensive toys. Ironically, four of the toys were ones that we were going to give Sam as Christmas presents. Anyhow, Sam is in heaven. I've actually taken some of the toys and hidden them for Christmas (he won't care that they're used, right?), but he's been playing with a lot of them. He especially loves the little John Deere tractor, which is infinitely cooler than his bike because it has a steering wheel. It took him less than a day to learn the word "tractor."

Pleased as punch

mom update

I just heard from V - she said that mom is doing much better today. That's encouraging news. It sounds like she'll be in the hospital for a few days though, so that the doctors can determine exactly what is going on.

mom

Please, please, please pray for my mom. She was admitted into the hospital yesterday. The tumors are making it impossible for her liver to function correctly - her liver is shutting down.

We have spent the past week and a half with my family, and came home just two days ago. My mom wasn't too well during our visit, but she did have some moments where she felt okay. Her condition took an extreme, dramatic turn for the worse on Thursday night, just hours after we caught our return flight. I feel very lucky and blessed that my mom was at home and able to be with us while we were in town. I also am so grateful that I was able to spend so much time helping her and being with her. I feel like it was a miracle that she was well enough to be with us during our visit.

I don't know what will happen in the next few hours or days. It's scary.