expectations: to have or not to have?

Over the past few weeks I have been developing a theory about expectations (expectations that are met, failed expectations, etc.). It seems like I am a much happier person when I go into situations (or approach life in general) without certain expectations for what will take place. Obviously, when those expectations are met, I feel a sense of fulfillment and pride. And I like that. But when my expectations aren't met for whatever reason, I end up feeling frustrated. I even get frustrated if small expectations are not met - silly expectations that have no real consequence, like finishing a book by the end of the day. I've noticed that sometimes I even get frustrated when something exceeds my expectations - not because I'm upset with results or outcome per se, but I'm irked at the fact that I had mentally prepared for something else.

Case in point: I had anticipated that J, Sam and I would have a fun and adventurous weekend together. But because of various things, it didn't end up being the weekend that I hoped. And even though we had a nice weekend and did get to do a few very fun things that I didn't anticipate at all (like the American Idol concert!), I still feel a little irked and unfulfilled - merely because my original expectations were not met.

So, what to do? In theory, I think that I would be a happier person if I went about without any expectations of how events/projects/work/life would occur. But is that even possible? It seems like part of human nature to expect and anticipate things. And in a way, I know that my own personality also thrives on expectations; I love feeling the sense of accomplishment that comes after expectations are fulfilled.

What do you think about expectations? Do you think that expectations give you a greater sense of happiness or frustration?

Happy Sam Day!

Our little guy turned three years old! He's been looking forward to his birthday for, oh, about a year. So his birthday was an especially exciting day.

We let Sam dictate the decorations and events of his special day. He picked the balloons, decorations, games, and dinner menu (macaroni and cheese). He even specified the type of birthday cake (Rainbow Chip, with star sprinkles and vanilla frosting). He also told me that he wanted the cake to be "round," like the toy cake from his dinosaur birthday parties. We happily obliged every request.

The day was a big success, even though I came down with a nasty, nasty cold the day before. I didn't feel well enough to join in on all of the festivities (much to my sincere disappointment), but J made sure that Sam had a fantastic time. And I participated whenever I could. Here are some pictures from the day:

As could be expected, Sam woke up especially early on his birthday morning. Here he is at 5:45 am, wide awake and ready to open his first present.

Excited about his knight costume, which included a shield (foreground), helmet, sword, sheath, and breastplate.

We've started a mini-tradition of buying a large mylar (somewhat cheesy) balloon for the birthday person in our family. We let Sam pick out his own balloon: a large T-Rex.

Here Sam is wearing part of his new knight costume while reading a book on castles (another present) with Gram. Note the "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" game in the background. Sam also insisted that we play that game (although he had never played it before - I think he had heard of the game in a book). It was cute to see Sam try to pin his donkey tail, especially since he didn't really understand the concept of "no peeking" from under the blindfold.

The cake! Sam helped me put on the sprinkles and candles.

Happy birthday, Sam!

flowery yard

We have been happily surprised to discover how many flowering bushes are located in the yard of our new house. So far we've enjoyed brilliant red, pink, purple, and yellow flowers - several of them being rhododendrons. It's fun because each bush has flowered at different times, so we constantly have different colors in our yard.

We also have a lilac bush on the side of the house; the flowers smell really nice. The bush reminds me of my mom, since she liked lilacs so much. The rose bush that climbs the trellis near our front door has just started to sport yellow blooms, and we've just seen some purple irises open in our back yard. Our purple rhododendron bush is just about to open its flowery buds as well.

Although there are plenty of flowers already in our yard, I still wanted to grow some of my own. A few weeks ago I planted some foxglove, columbine and daisies (among other smaller flowers) in a little circular area underneath our lamppost. This is the first year that I've been able to grow a happy foxglove plant - hooray for mild Northwest weather!

This is the bush that is outside the window of our dining area.

sam the knight

Sam has become rather interested in knights, ever since we showed him "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" a few months ago. But unfortunately the end of the movie (see a clip here) really affected Sam's definition of what constitutes a "knight." For a few weeks after seeing that show, Sam kept telling me that "knights don't have heads." Oh dear!

We've finally been able to convince Sam that knights can have heads, but he still thinks that "knights can't see." This actually is a pretty logical thought on his end; Sam thinks knights aren't able to see because their helmets have visors. So whenever Sam pretends to be a knight, he keeps his eyes shut very tight. I suppose that J and I should work harder to clarify this misconception, but it's really cute to see him squeeze his eyes shut.

Here's a recent clip of our little knight:

richard saunders vs. titan leeds

I've just started to read a book on Benjamin Franklin, titled Bolt of Fate: Benjamin Franklin and his Electric Kite Hoax (by Tom Tucker). The book basically argues that Benjamin Franklin never conducted his famous electricity experiment, in which he flew a kite during an electrical storm. I haven't gotten to the bulk of the argument yet, nor have I decided whether I buy into this author's argument. But I was interested to learn that very soon after Franklin was extolled for his experiment in May 1752, a scientist in Russia tried to replicate Franklin's experiment, and ended up dying.¹ According to Tucker, Franklin histories have dismissed this Russian man as "foolishly unaware," but "Russian and Estonian sources...reveal the victim to have been a brilliant, very aware scientist...and a skilled linguist who followed Franklin's every word in English."² Hmm. So can one really survive flying a kite in an electrical storm?

Although I'm not very far into the book, I have been most amused by its discussion of Poor Richard's Almanac. I knew that Franklin published this almanac under the pseudonym of Richard Saunders, but I didn't know much else about the publication. I had no idea it was so humorous!

Poor Richard's Almanac burst onto the market by predicting the date for when his competitor Titan Leeds (another almanac writer, who did not publish under a pseudonym) would die. This publication caused a lot of back-and-forth writing between "Saunders" and Leeds over the next few years. You can read a little bit of the episode on pages 7 -10 the Electric Kite Hoax book (see here). I laughed out loud when I got to the top of page 10. Franklin was quite clever.

The portrait of Ben Franklin was painted by Joseph Siffred Duplessis, c. 1785. For more information on the portrait, see here. Image courtesy of Wikipedia.

1 Tom Tucker, Bolt of Fate: Benjamin Franklin and his Electric Kite Hoax (New York: PublicAffairs, 2003), xix.

last day to vote!

I'm sure people are getting tired of my requests to vote for Fictionist, but this is a big deal for my friends. This is the last day that you can vote for the band, and it looks like they are really close against another band, "The Sheepdogs." Please vote for Fictionist HERE, and give them five stars. And if you want to tell others about the contest, that would be fantastic. Oh, and if you could like the band on FB and tweet about them through the Rolling Stone page, that would be much appreciated (they get added points in the competition for those two things).

Thank you! I sure hope they go through to the next round!

mother's day

I came across this nice picture of my mom this afternoon, while looking for pictures of her in my scrapbook. My mom put most of my childhood scrapbook together, and I like that a lot of the commentaries are in her own handwriting. From what I can tell from this picture's placement in my album, this photo was taken in the beginning of 1986. So, in this picture my mom is about a year younger than I am right now.

Since my mom's death about 18 months ago, I have had difficulty deciding how I want to honor my mother on Mother's Day. Last year I didn't know what to do; I remember that I ended up calling my dad to let him know that I was thinking about mom. Although I know that many people buy flowers to put on their mothers' grave, I don't know if that's the approach I want to take each year.

This year I thought I'd just write something on here: Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you and miss you. I think about you every day. I continually grow in appreciation for all that you did for me (and all of your children), even though you aren't with us anymore. Mom, your memory is very much alive, not only on this Mother's Day, but on every day of the year.