On Kindness

I have been thinking lately about kindness and the impact of kind words. I'm not sure why, but a couple of days ago I was thinking about how I can still remember some unkind things that were said to me years and years ago. The first was a comment that was made when I was in eighth grade, and the second was a passing remark someone made about nine years ago. And to be fair, I think that one of these people didn't even realize that their remark hurt my feelings. Both comments were about inconsequential things (my makeup and my striped yellow shirt), but they have been ingrained in my memory. Really, though, I'm glad that I remember these instances, because they remind me to be careful about the things that I say, especially when it comes to someone's appearance or fashion choices.

Whenever I'm reminded of these two instances, both of which I remember quite distinctly, I always wonder if there is someone who remembers unkind things that I said to them. Perhaps I have unintentionally said unkind things that someone remembers as distinctly as I remember the things that have been said to me. I hope not, but I can't be sure. I do remember needing to apologize to someone for saying something unkind when I was on a study abroad in college. This friend was very noble and has continued to be very kind to me over the past eleven (!) years. I can't even really remember exactly what I said that was unkind; I hope that this friend has forgotten whatever I said, too.

I've also been thinking about kindness over the past few months because of two books: Wonder by R. J. Palacio and The Kindness Book by Welleran Poltarnees. I received The Kindness Book for Christmas when I was younger (there is a dedication in my mom's handwriting from "Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus" on the inside cover), but I had forgotten about this book until my sister sent it to me several months ago. This book reminds me of my mom, not only because of the dedication but because it is full of turn-of-the-century illustrations that I'm sure she liked. For that reason, I keep this book on a side table in our bedroom. Sam has asked about the book several times and we've read some of the quotes together. Here are two of my favorites:

Life is short, and we never have too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh, be swift to love, make haste to be kind! -Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Let us open up our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness. - O. S. Marden

The other book, Wonder, is one that I read several months ago. I think it is a great book for young teens to read, especially those in middle school. I especially love this quote that is given at the end of the book as part of a graduation speech:

[Be] kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. Be kinder than is needed.

I feel like there are ways that I could improve and be more kind. I've had a lot of kindnesses shown to me recently, especially since Lucy was born, and I want to extend similar kindnesses to others. I'm trying to not get frustrated with Sam when he doesn't quickly respond to my requests or instructions. (I feel like I've been getting after Sam a lot, lately.) I can extend myself more to people who need my love and support. I can be less protective of my routines and my space, especially if it means that I can be kind to others in the process. Maybe, one day, I will attain enough of a kind and loving heart that I won't even worry about myself or my selfish, silly concerns when I interact with people.

"Cookie's Crumby Pictures" Clips

Over the past few days, Sam and I have been enjoying some clips from the Cookie's Crumby Pictures channel (hosted by Sesame Street) on YouTube. This channel has about ten clips, all starring Cookie Monster, that are spoofs from popular movies. The clips, though, also are geared toward teaching children tips on how to understand feelings, focus on completing tasks, remember directions, listen to others, and follow instructions. I feel like a lot of these tips are especially helpful for kindergarteners and first graders. Sam liked noting how several of these tips are also taught in his classroom, so I was glad that we could reinforce these concepts in a fun and creative way.

Our favorite clip is "Star S'Mores" (that I've embedded below). They are all cute, but my other favorites are "Cookie of Oz," "The Hungry Games - Catching Fur" and "Les Mousserables." Sam likes "The Biscotti Kid" (which J hasn't seen yet, but I'm sure he will like the "Karate Kid" references, since that was one of his favorite shows growing up). All of the clips have pretty clever impersonations and witty references to the films they parody.

Sam's Four-Leaf Clover and Other Updates

Lately I've been going through some photo archives from a year or two ago, and I've been struck by how old Sam looks these days. I feel like I can no longer call him "my little boy," but I now need to just call him "my boy." He's really not little anymore! I also feel like he starts to look more and more like J as he gets older.

Waiting for the bus on the first day of 1st grade

These boys even have the same slight gap between their front teeth!

I think now, as of last week, Sam has read every single Garfield comic book that presently is owned by our whole library system. And believe me, there are dozens of books out there. The last one that we checked out, perhaps as an appropriate farewell, was Garfield Minus Garfield. Sam got interested in Garfield sometime last year, when J mentioned that he really liked Garfield when he was about Sam's age. Although Sam doesn't always understand the jokes, he picks up quite a bit of the humor. I try to use the Garfield comics as a way to teach morals - basically, by pointing out Garfield's character flaws and moral failings. Sam still wants to visit the comic book section of the library each time we visit, though. On Friday I let him check out one of The Far Side books, so maybe we'll get into those for a while. Again, a couple of those jokes seem over his head, but he really likes the ones that he gets.

Speaking of Sam and reading, I really am proud that he is such a voracious reader. I catch myself being glad of the fact that I need to scold, "Sam! You need to stop reading that book so you can [insert daily task here]!" I've had to remind him several times to not walk and read at the same time when we are leaving the library, especially when we are in the parking lot. He's not aware of his surroundings when he's reading a book, which could potentially be dangerous. Last week I had to remind him, "Sam, you need to stop reading and walking at the same time. Remember how you walked right into a glass door when we were leaving the library the other day? You need to wait and read until when we are seated in the car." Even as I was saying these words, I was secretly amused and pleased, though. Reading is such a joy in my life, and I'm glad that we can enjoy books together.

I know that Sam's appetite for reading helps to fuel his imagination. Somewhere, perhaps in a book, he has picked up the idea that four-leaf clovers can grant wishes. I discovered this assumption after he found a four-leaf clover at school a few days ago. He promptly pinned the clover to his bulletin board. It unfortunately shriveled up overnight, but we were able to resurrect its original form by soaking it in a cup of water for a few hours. Sam then decided to use Scotch tape to stick the clover to a piece of paper, and then pin the paper onto his bulletin board.

Anyhow, I've tried to stress to Sam that there is just merely a tradition that four-leaf clovers give people good luck, but he is quite sure that clovers actually grant wishes. Apparently he wished the other night, before going to bed, that he would dream while he slept. And, since he remembered dreaming when he woke up the next morning, he's sure that the clover granted his wish. But, then another morning he woke up distraught that none of his other wishes have come true, and he expressed concern that the clover couldn't hear him from underneath its piece of Scotch tape. So far, I haven't been able to catch Sam expressing his wishes to his Scotch-taped clover, but I hope to sometime soon. Perhaps I can be an agent in helping these wishes come true, if I think the requests are within reason!

I feel lucky to have such a bright, creative son who has a very kind heart. He is so sweet with Lucy. She stays entertained for long periods of time by focusing on whatever Sam is doing or showing to her. I can already tell that she will love Sam as much as J and I do.

Lucy Music and "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing"

I have a bunch of silly songs that I sing to Lucy. I call many of them "original compositions" - although they really are too silly and repetitive to really be called compositions. Maybe they should be called jingles. One day I need to write a post on all of these silly songs that I have made up. I keep joking with J that I also need to transcribe them into musical notation. I sang several of these songs to Sam when he was a baby, and it's fun to sing them again to Lucy.

Some of the songs I sing to Lucy are actual songs, although occasionally I change the words or sing the song in a silly way. Probably the one I sing the most is "Lucy dee Loo," which is sung to the chorus of the original "Winnie the Pooh" theme song (at about 1:07 in this clip). Sometimes, for Lucy's entertainment and my own amusement, I sing "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables with the inflections of Julie Andrews. I'm still working on perfecting that impersonation, but Lucy seems to enjoy it. Perhaps she just recognizes the tune, because I used to sing that song in the shower when I was pregnant.

Other songs are not made up or silly, though. I like to sing "Moon River" and "Edelweiss" to Lucy (though not in a Julie-Andrews-style voice, but my own). And today, since Lucy has become a fan of trying to keep her head up, we danced cheek-to-cheek around the house while I sang "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing" from White Christmas. We probably danced like that for fifteen minutes - Lucy really enjoyed it. Perhaps she was just relieved that I was singing a song legitimately instead of my usual jest! And I kept singing and dancing because I liked having her chubby cheek against my cheek. I took a picture of us with my phone, while we waltzed through the bathroom.

I pulled up a video clip of this song on my computer afterward, so Lucy could listen to the actual song with musical accompaniment. When looking up the video clip, I came across this really interesting post about the filming of this song. Irving Berlin wrote "The Best Things..." with Donald O'Connor in mind. When Danny Kaye assumed the role, some modifications needed to be made since Kaye lacked some of the technical dancing skills that O'Connor had. Interestingly, both Kaye and Vera-Ellen got injured at different times when rehearsing this number. (On a side note, this whole blog, "The Danny Kaye Show," looks like a really fun read.)

Maybe if I sing enough songs from my favorite musicals to Lucy, she will grow up to become a fan herself. I suppose I'll have to make sure that she knows that I'm singing most songs from musicals due to my own enjoyment of the music, not because I'm being silly!

Wuthering Heights

I finished reading Wuthering Heights for the first time the other night. I knew that the story was about revenge, but my goodness, that book is a downer! Although I did like seeing Hareton Earnshaw's interest in learning and self-improvement near the end of the novel, but I feel like that was the most satisfying thing. None of the close relationships or love stories woven throughout the book were overly compelling to me - they felt a little contrived.

Perhaps Emily Brontë expected the romantic attachments to be somewhat false: the flaws of the characters made their romantic attachments seem less endearing to me, as a reader. I was well over halfway through the book when I realized that there was no extremely likeable character in the book, unless one can count the housekeeper Nelly. And I don't even feel like one can develop too extreme of an attachment to Nelly as a character, since she functions more of a storyteller than as a very nuanced and complex individual.

As I was reading this book, I was struck between some interesting similarities between Wuthering Heights and Rebecca, the other novel I read this summer. In both stories the male protagonist is haunted by the death of a woman - whether it be their spouse (as with Maxim de Winter) or the object of their love and affection (as is the case with Heathcliff). Maxim de Winter is metaphorically haunted by Rebecca, whereas the reader gets the sense that Heathcliff is actually haunted by Catherine's ghost. I suppose if I want to draw even more parallels, I should watch the film version of Wuthering Heights with Laurence Olivier, since I watched Hitchcock's version of Rebecca (starring Laurence Olivier) after I finished that book. (Can anyone recommend this movie or some other movie version of Wuthering Heights?)

Is anyone out there a huge fan Wuthering Heights? Why do you think this book is so great? I didn't think that the book is awful, by any means, but I was hoping to develop more of an attachment to the characters or feel inspired a bit more. I don't necessarily need to read only "feel good" novels, but I do like a bit more redemption here and there! The story seems to be just as bleak and dark as the moors surrounding Wuthering Heights itself.

Shermag Chairs Galore!

The two-year drama of searching for Shermag chairs has finally ended, as of fifteen minutes ago! After buying the wrong type of chairs to complete our dining set last year, I halfheartedly kept an eye on Craigslist while I was pregnant. After Lucy was born, since I had more free time to surf the internet while nursing her, I renewed my search full force. By sheer luck, in July I found a lady on Craigslist in Stowe, Vermont (the place where the Von Trapps came to America!) who was willing to sell her chairs to me. I had to agree to buy all six of her chairs, though, which was fine. I'm actually excited to have all of these chairs, because we now have four side chairs (and we have only been able to find arm chairs ("captain's chairs") before this point).

Although there was a slight bit of drama in getting the PayPal payment to go through to this woman (which involved me getting on the phone with PayPal and the shipper while at the Hi-Mountain diner in Kamas while vacationing), everything worked out. And now, unbelievably, we have an overabundance of these discontinued Shermag chairs.

Come over to eat with us sometime! We can seat ten people at our house now, and you don't even have to be a midget so as to wedge your legs between counter-height chairs and the standard-height table top like before!

Trip to Utah and the Weber

 Last month we took a road trip to Utah. It was really nice to visit with family and friends. This was the first major road trip that we have taken as a family, and overall I would say that it was a great success. Lucy was a great little traveler; she mostly slept in the car and we only had to pull over to feed her and change her diaper.

I have kind of a funny expression on my face in this picture, but I want to remember what it was like to continually pull by the side of the road and take care of Lucy in the middle-of-nowhere

I really wanted to make sure that Sam had a fun summer, especially with all of the recent changes that have come with a new baby. I knew that he was just the perfect age to have a lot of fun at the Weber this year, especially since my sister L and his second cousins G and C would be there. And I was right - Sam had a fantastic time and even said that going to the Weber was his favorite thing about this summer. We all had a great time - my only regrets are that we weren't able to see more friends and also eat at Gandalfo's!

We arrived in SLC on a Sunday night, and Lucy had a ready-and-waiting group of family members to welcome her.

 

Before heading up to the Weber cabin, we were able to visit with a few friends and also visit with some grandparents that live in the Provo area. We also got to spend one night at Wildwood, which was especially fun for J. I'm glad that on this trip we got to introduce Sam to cabins that are special to both sides of our family.

I made sure that I got to see my dear friend Joanna, who had a baby girl just six days before Lucy was born. We're holding each other's babies in this picture. It was so fun to meet little Molly!

A visit with Buddy! I especially felt like this visit was way too short and was left with a very bittersweet feeling as we said goodbye.

We made it up to the cabin early Tuesday evening, after we stopped to visit a laundromat in Kamas. We had a great turnout at the cabin this year (perhaps because we were able to get a week in August, which rarely happens), and I think that we had over thirty people visit the cabin on-and-off during the week. I think we usually had at least twenty people at the cabin at any given time. J and I slept outside in a tent with Lucy, so we wouldn't wake up other people in the cabin. We slept on an air mattress and Lucy slept on a camping mat. Sam slept with the cousins in the upstairs loft of the cabin. During the day we played games, walked around The Loop, canoed, fished, rode horses, and visited.

Our little camper with J in the tent

Throwing rocks at the Smith and Morehouse Reservoir

J looked so handsome that I had to take this picture

My dad and birthday-girl L riding horses with my cousin's husband Sam

J couldn't remember the last time he had ridden a horse. He made some joke about being a "city slicker" with his sunglasses when I took this picture.

Sam liked to ride the horse Thunder. He was really cautious about riding on a horse at first, but he really liked it and got to go riding several times. 

G made some armor (like part of a gauntlet?) out of tree bark

My brother C "attacked" the fort that was being defended by Sam and his cousins.

My sister E arrived home from her study abroad in Jerusalem on my sister L's birthday. She came up to the cabin after her flight landed. Since E goes by a nickname that starts with an L, we took a picture of "The Three Ls." It was fun to visit with E and hear a little about her time abroad.

I love this picture of Lucy and V!

Sam had so much fun with these cousins. We are lucky that we get to see them at home too, but it was extra fun for them to get to spend several days together at the cabin. We took this picture just before we got in our car to come home.

On the drive back home we took a slight detour to visit Craters of the Moon National Monument. J and Sam went out and visited some of the short trails for a few minutes, while I stayed in the car and nursed Lucy. This picture was taken at the top of a hill made from small basalt rocks.

The only slight misadventure from the drive home was that we left Sam's blankie and stuffed dog Fluffy in the Super 8 motel in Baker City. The staff assured us that they have mailed them to us (it took several calls and reminders for them to do so!), so we hope to welcome Fluffy and the blankie home today or tomorrow. In some ways, I'm glad that Sam realizes that he can survive without his blankie. We'll see how long he ends up wanting to sleep with it!