Some Current Art Favorites and Thoughts on Jackie Kennedy

I'm cleaning out my desktop while I wait at the airport for a flight. Before I organize these beautiful works of art into oblivion, I want to make sure I highlight them so I can remember:

Sarah Paxton Ball Dodson, "Butterflies," 1891

Mary Cassatt, "Lilacs in Window," 1883

This painting and the lilacs remind me of my mom

Gustave-Leonard de Jonghe, "First Born," 1863

This painting reminds me of when I went to meet my niece Mabel, the first child born to one of my siblings. I would be the lady in the yellow traveling clothes, and V is the mom in white

Tissot, "Reading a Story," c. 1897

Some of the most quiet moments I have with Lucy are when we are reading a story together. This curly-haired blonde girl reminds me of her

Gari Melchers, "The Communicant," c. 1900

  

Evelyn de Morgan, "Night and Sleep," 1878

Evelyn de Morgan, "Clytie," 1878

Whistler, "The Artist in His Studio," 1865-66

 Caillebotte, "Woman at a Dressing Table," c. 1873

Frederick Sandys, "Whitlingham, Norfolk," 1860

I grew to really like Frederick Sandys's art this summer, while giving tours about his paintings "Morgan le Fay" and "Medea"

Charles Robert Leslie, "Queen Victoria in Her Coronation Robes," 1838

Winslow Homer, "Waiting for Dad (Longing)," 1873

The photograph below and the Homer painting above have been saved on my desktop, right next to each other. I've thought lately about how their compositions are similar in some ways, with the straight horizon line of the sea. I guess I'm really drawn to the same aesthetic Something resonates with me in both subjects, too: solitude and playfulness. The photograph particularly reminds me of my mom (with her own short dark hair) and her investment in her kids. I adore this composition, particularly the curve of Caroline's tummy, her round legs, and how she has one foot just peek over the horizon line. 

Mark Shaw Kennedy, "Jackie Swings Caroline in the Shallows of Hyannis Port," 1959

Yesterday, by coincidence, Lucy the book, "Just Being Jackie" by Megan Cardillo. It's a delightful book and I really like the illustrations, too. I've realized how much I truly admire Jackie Kennedy and all that she did, in her pursuit of her career, her dedication to her children, and her desire to preserve historical buildings and monuments (and I already had an inkling of this latter point before, since I am familiar with her involvement in saving Egyptian temples). 

Having worked recently to restore an heirloom dollhouse this past summer, I am now anxious to see what Jackie Kennedy did on a greater scale with her restoration of the White House. I hope to watch "A Tour of the White House with Mrs. John F. Kennedy" (the 1962 documentary) soon. I'm saving a clip below as a starter, but I need to track down the whole documentary:

Heirloom Dollhouse Restoration

This past summer has been good for me, especially because I was able to focus my mind on new ideas and get involved in creative projects that are outside of my norm. I also decided to take a break from Instagram in August, and it has been nice to focus on my own thoughts instead of being inundated with the thoughts and activities of others. One of the things that I especially enjoyed doing was restoring an old Victorian-style dollhouse. I loved getting a chance to be creative with my hands and mind, and get to see a tangible manifestation of my work.

This dollhouse belonged to my Aunt Bee; it was given to her when she was a little girl. When we went down to Portland in August (not only to see the Wa-Fol family's new house, but also to see Mount Hood and the Enchanted Forest), Aunt Bee gave us this dollhouse to take home, so it could be enjoyed by Lucy but still stay within the family as an heirloom. Grandpa Theron made this dollhouse for my aunt when she was a little girl; he build the dollhouse in my great-aunt Vera's garage. It was painted bright yellow when my aunt was a little girl, and then later in the 1990s it was painted brown when my C cousins played with it.

I didn't take a picture of the exterior when we got it, but the exterior walls and trim were painted different shades of brown, and the shingles were unpainted. The interior walls had a few pieces of contact paper for wallpaper, and there were a few old pieces of felt for carpet.

Lucy wanted to change the color of the dollhouse, and I obliged. I tried to get her to choose the original yellow color, but she was fixated on a bubble-gum pink color. I was, at the very least, able to convince her to choose something that was more terracotta and have some blue and white accents for contrast. Lucy helped paint some of the exterior, too, which she enjoyed.

Some of the brown trim is visible in this picture, as well as some of the missing trim and broken veranda railing. The doors leading out to this porch also were missing. Aunt Bee still had the railing on hand, and J and I were able to carve new trim pieces.

Almost done! It is still missing part of the the gable trim and screen doors

We worked simultaneously on the exterior and the interior. I carved out a new piece for the gable trim that was missing on the left side, new trim for the Mansart roof circular window and the arched window in the tower. J made a new door with an oval-shaped window to match the front door. We found screen doors with oval-shaped designs for the veranda, and cut them to fit. I even found replacement "glass" for the windows by using the plastic container of a stationery box. Here is the completed exterior:

J helped me cut some of the wallpaper for the trickiest rooms (the downstairs dining area with the staircase, as well as the bathroom with the angled ceiling), but I did a lot of it on my own. Sam and Lucy were content to spend a lot of time playing together, and when they were distracted I would run down to the basement to cut more wallpaper. I got the wallpaper from the scrapbook paper sections of Joann's and Michaels, and even the floors are made with scrapbook paper.

The floor and mirror are the two things which came with the dollhouse, at least when Aunt Bee gave it to us.

Look at the tiny radiator! We got this in a $5 grab bag from the Miniatures and More store in Edmonds. We also bought the bathroom fixtures there too.

 This is a tiny miniature painting of one of Degas' ballerina scenes

This is the art room - the dolls have a tiny easel for painting

These two paintings are of a Cezanne still life and Monet's "Woman with a Parasol - Madame Monet and Her Son"

 The main entry with a peek-a-boo Lucy!

This wallpaper is as close to a William Morris design as I could find!

Lucy has all of her special stones and "gems" in this treasure box. Lucy once imagined that the dolls used it for collateral to make some kind of bargain with their neighbors. The little roundel on the wall is cut from the packaging of one of the dolls of the Strawberry Shortcake series. I had a Strawberry Shortcake in this same design when I was a little girl, and it has been so fun for Lucy to get to play with these same dolls. I'm sure they were re-released recently so that mothers like me (who played with these dolls as a child) could buy them for their own kids.

 The attic! I left this room unpainted, which seemed fitting for an attic. We got the little presents for free from Miniatures and More, and the tiny crocheted rug was a gift to me from Lee Peterson, the pianist of my old choir. The only thing that I haven't been able to find is a ladder in the right dimensions to reach up to the attic. I may need to make one. Ant Bee said that she used to pretend like her dolls were orphans when they were up in the attic. 

Lucy and I have been fun playing with this dollhouse together. I hope she gets to enjoy it for many years to come. Maybe we will be able to share it with another cousin so that this dollhouse continues to stay in the family. Or maybe Lucy will want to keep it, in case one day she has a child of her own.

An Active and Educational Summer

On weekdays this summer, my kids have had five responsibilities to do each day:
1) Do a household chore
2) Do pages in their "summer learning" Brain Quest workbooks
3) Practice the piano
4) Read for thirty minutes (or, for Lucy, read at least one book)
5) Do something active

I have liked this last requirement of doing something active, because it has prompted us to spend time outside, try new sports like tennis, and spend time at the gym. I also want my kids to establish a regular habit of exercise. Lucy also started swim lessons this summer and she made some great progress with getting comfortable and putting her face in the water. She still has a long way to go and we will continue lessons this fall, but I'm pleased with the progress she has made.

These are all of the hikes that my kids went on this summer:

• Mount Constitution and Cold Springs (Orcas Island)
• Cascade Lake Loop Trail in Moran State Park (Orcas Island)
• Moraine Lake in Banff (to viewpoint above the lake and along the shore)
• Lake Louise shoreline trail in Banff 
• Hoodoo Creek in Yoho National Park
• Wapta Falls in Yoho National Park
• Ramona Falls at Mount Hood National Forest (I wrote a post about this hike)
• Trillium Lake shoreline trail at Mount Hood National Forest (shown in photo)
• Myrtle Falls at Paradise in Mount Rainier National Park
• Grove of the Patriarchs in Mount Rainier National Park
• Denny Creek and Franklin Falls (we plan do to these on Labor Day)

I'm also pleased with the things that the kids were able to learn and experience by working on their Brain Quest workbooks this summer. The workbooks also included "outside quest" experiences, which included things like science experiments, natural walks, and creating food for a family picnic:

I feel like this summer passed by quickly, like a dream, although as I have gone through photos I realize that we have done so much (not even counting our trip to the Weber in July). Sam also got to do a fencing camp, as well as a Lego/Chess camp. Lucy went to a Princess Camp at her dance studio.
We have had a lot of fun, and it's hard to say goodbye to the summer. Both of the kids are excited about the upcoming school year, though.

Ramona Falls in Mount Hood National Forest

At the beginning of this month, J went to Provo for his cousin Colin's wedding. I had the kids with me, so I got substitutes to cover my tours at the museum. Since we didn't have any obligation to be in town, we drove south to Portland to visit Mount Hood, the Enchanted Forest, and the Wa-Fol family. I also loved that we listened to Kenneth Branaugh narrate "The Magician's Nephew" while we drove (I highly recommend it - he does accents for all of the different characters and it really is delightful.)

It was a really lovely weekend trip, and I was especially glad that I took the kids to hike to Ramona Falls. We hiked about 8 miles together, according to the All Trails app that I used. The kids were awesome, and I felt really empowered that I could to a road trip and such a long hike while I was a single parent for the weekend. I do regret giving them so much candy as "power pellet" treats along the way, though - Lucy's stomach bothered her a little bit that evening.

I was most nervous about hiking this trail because you have to cross a river. The logs were positioned in such a way that we were able to cross alright, but I did have to pick up Lucy and help her out for the last couple of steps. I couldn't have done this hike with Violet and the kids, if J wasn't there. See how Lucy earned a lollipop after we crossed the river? She whined the first mile of the hike until this crossing, but she kept going. Then she was quiet for the next twenty minutes while she had the candy in her mouth!

There was hardly any elevation gain on this trail, which is why the kids were able to do it. They were proud of themselves.

This waterfall was so lovely! It reminded me more of a bridal veil than Bridal Veil Falls.

You can go in a loop on this trail, and I much preferred the trail that went along Ramona Creek. The cliffs alongside the trail were stunning: the textures and colors were clearly nuanced. Sam kept saying, "Dad would like to see these rocks!"

Ramona Creek

The part of the trail that goes along the Sandy River is really quite sandy: I regretted wearing Chacos because the amount of dust created extra friction and blistering than normal. I liked this hike so much because the environment is so different between the PNW forest along the creek and the sandy trail along the river, where the trees are more sparse. The upper parts of the trail were speckled with lots of rhododendron bushes, too, and I imagine that this hike is really stunning when the bushes are in bloom. We will have to go back in the spring! 

Learning from Lucy

About once every two weeks, Lucy comes home from preschool in a grouchy mood. She argues with me at every turn and sometimes works herself up into a dramatic tantrum over something trivial. Usually this foul temper means that she is tired, and sometimes I can get her to fall asleep if we drive in the car for more than fifteen minutes. Such was the case after our grumpy episode this afternoon: Lucy fell asleep on the way to Sam's fencing lesson, and while Sam attended class I sat in the parking lot for an hour with a sleeping Bubba in her carseat. Looking back, I really value that I had some quiet time to reflect, since Lucy and I had three arguments today (morning, afternoon and evening) and I regret the way I handled each situation. Sam never talks back to his parents, so I haven't had to deal with this situation before. I'm still learning how to respond to a strong-willed child that challenges seemingly everything I ask or do. But I want to nip this talky-back, toddler-sized sassy attitude in the bud now, so Lucy learns that behavior is not acceptable. I want her to be a gracious, kind person. And I want to feel like a gracious and kind person, which has been trying as of late. I suppose that we both need to work on developing this same skill.

Lucy can be very sweet and good-natured, and she definitely has a keen awareness of what is right and wrong. After school she likes to report to me which kids followed the rules, and which ones did not. She loves her friends at school and has been planning her 5th birthday party for months and months. She has moved out of her lip syncing phase, and instead, as she gets older, I can tell that she and I are similar in our love of singing. My mom told me once that she could always tell how I was feeling, based on the song that I chose to sing at the piano. Lucy is the same kind of way: she likes to burst into songs that she has made up, and often they relate to how she is feeling or what she is doing. Her face is an open book and it is easy to tell how she feels, based on the expression of her eyes or the turned up (or down!) line of her mouth.

Over the past few days she has been wanting to "wear her hair down," which really means that the front locks usually fall down in front of her face. She cares a lot about having people notice things about her (another way that she is an opposite of Sam), and she was convinced that her friends at school would notice if she wore her hair in this different way. So today, I let her wear her hair down, although it was tucked a little back behind a headband. Lucy also didn't want me to wet down her curls or put gel in them, because she didn't want her hair to look "too dark" when it gets wet. So, instead, I brushed the tangles out of her hair and we left it in a poofy mass of frizz in the back, because that is what she wanted. And as soon as we walked in the door, Lucy's classmate Harper came up to me and asked, "What did you do to Lucy's hair today?" And I replied that Lucy had wanted to wear a new hairstyle. Harper said, "Oh! I like it," and Lucy just glowed. Her ploy to have a new hairdo that would be noticed worked. And, seeing her with that big smile on her face made me realize that maybe I need to relinquish some (all?) control over what Lucy wears or how she styles her hair.

I love this girl, even when it is hard. And I hope that she and I both become better people through our mother-daughter relationship. We have a lot to learn from each other.

Mary Oliver Poems

Earlier this evening I learned that Mary Oliver died today. I've been thinking about many of her poems, and how her imagery of nature really resonated with me. I remember reading the poem "Mornings at Blackwater" at a time when I needed to make some important life decisions. Her sage advice is both intensely poignant and also calming. These are three poems I've been thinking about tonight:

Mornings at Blackwater
For years, every morning, I drank
from Blackwater Pond.
It was flavored with oak leaves and also, no doubt,
the feet of ducks.

And always it assuaged me
from the dry bowl of the very far past.
What I want to say is
that the past is the past,
and the present is what your life is,
and you are capable
of choosing what that will be,
darling citizen.

So come to the pond,
or the river of your imagination,
or the harbor of your longing,
and put your lips to the world.
And live
your life.

"I Worried"
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.”

Messenger
My work is loving the world.
Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird—
equal seekers of sweetness.
Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
 
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still half-perfect? Let me
keep my mind on what matters,
which is my work,
 
which is mostly standing still and learning to be
astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
 
which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
and these body-clothes,
a mouth with which to give shouts of joy
to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,
telling them all, over and over, how it is
that we live forever.

2019 Resolution: Work Less!

I have been thinking over the past few days for what I'd like to have as a resolution this year. Lately I've been feeling a little bit of frustration that I rarely have personal time to recharge. Ever since I started to teach when Sam was a toddler, I've had to work in the evenings during the school year to either prep or grade. And in the past few years, it's started to take a toll on me and I'm starting to feel pretty low.

I've been frustrated and resentful that J never has to work in the evenings: he always get to watch TV or play games on his phone, whereas I always have things that I need to be doing. It's not his fault: he just doesn't have to juggle multiple volunteer and work responsibilities and split his work time throughout the day in order to take care of the kids. These are responsibilities that I want to have. Unfortunately, though, the same thing happens during the weekends: he plays with the kids or takes a nap while I feel pressure to clean the house or madly play catchup with the things that didn't get done during the week. I'm reminded of studies for how working moms put in 98 hours per week and how typically there is an unequal distribution of household tasks between men and women, even if both of them are working.

Sometimes I do get help from my family, and willingly so if I ask. And J does consistently help with doing dishes and folding laundry. But generally I end up taking care of daily tasks, household maintenance and yard work because they are a priority for me: it is hard for me to relax if things are messy or chores need to be done. I wonder sometimes if I am like the anxious figure Martha from the Bible, who is "careful and troubled about many things," and J is like Mary who "chose the good portion."

So how can I relax? I've resolved this year to do something which is quite scary for me: I'm resolving to not work at night. After the kids go down, I'm going to focus on writing (like what I'm doing now), reading, or watching something I enjoy. I might end up doing some personal research or going over my choir music, but it won't be work. No grading. No prep. No emails. I'm not quite sure how I am going to manage getting my work done, but I'm going to figure it out on a day-by-day basis. One thing that I'm going to do is reinstitute a consistent chore chart for the kids - it will take more work for me to manage it each day, but I hope it will also save me time on the weekends. I probably will need to wake up earlier, too, so my evenings are more free. I also will have to give up time on social media. But I think that overall, this will help me feel more like myself: at least the "good portion" of myself that I want to be. I made good progress this past year in helping Lucy to gain more independence (my goal from last year), but I think that I will continue to improve in becoming less frustrated with her if I'm less frustrated with myself.