Relationship thoughts

I don't know how my relationship with J compares to the broad spectrum of relationships out there, but J and I feel like we have a wonderful marriage. I feel like we are amazingly compatible. We often remark that we are so lucky to have each other, because we get along so well and bring out the best in each other. I hope that my kids will look at our marriage and find things that they want to emulate in their own relationships one day. A handful of conversations have made me to think about my relationship with J lately, and I've realized that, apart from love, there are two things that I think are necessary in a successful marriage: respect and unselfishness.

Respect: I think that this is the foundation of a good marriage, and in many ways I think that deep love and respect are interrelated. The reason that J and I get along so well because we sincerely respect each other. We respect the talents of each other, perhaps especially if we don't have the same talents ourselves. We respect each other's mind and intellect, and consider ourselves to be equals in regard to our wits and brains. For that reason, we feel like we can learn from each other and we respect the decisions that the other person makes. We want to solicit each other's opinion! We are willing to communicate and make compromises on issues, because we respect the stance that the other person assumes.

We respect the person that our spouse was (even before we knew them), and we respect the person that they are today. And because we respect the person that they are today, we feel confident that we will respect the person that they will become in the future. For that reason, it's easy to have a forward-thinking mindset and a solid commitment to each other.

Unselfishness: I think unselfishness is important to have as a spouse, but especially as a parent. One of the reasons that I love J so much is that he is unselfish when it comes to our kids. He willingly and freely gives his time and attention to them, and they are always in the forefront of his mind when he is at home. Because J is unselfish, he is wholly engaged and present.

When a person is unselfish, I think that they naturally and effortlessly are driven to serve and help the people that they love. J looks for ways to be helpful to me and the kids, because he knows how much that contributes to our emotional well-being and happiness. I think I'm still learning how to be as unselfish as him.

Sam and Third Grade!

Sam started third grade! The picture above was taken on his first day of school. This year he is in a special Discovery Program that is supposed to explore concepts at an accelerated pace, and we have high hopes that he will do well in the program.

Sam's picture and art that is currently on his classroom's bulletin board

He likes his classmates and has a fun time playing with them at recess. One of the things that he has really been excited about this past month is wizardry, and he and a few boys like to pretend some type of wizard game during recess. He started reading the first Harry Potter book at school (during their "Literature Time," when they can read anything they want to for 45 minutes), and that book has definitely inspired Sam.

The other book that has gotten Sam excited about wizardry is the book Wizardology that he checked out from the school library. Sam has been taking copious notes out of the book and then bringing his notes in little folded booklets. For the first few days, he was reading a lot about wands, and he kept coming home from school and asking me to identity the different types of trees in our yard (so he could think about whether the wood from those trees would make a good wand or staff).

My favorite part about these notes is that Sam draws arrows and question marks by the words that he doesn't know. I love that we had a talk about what "rejuvenating" meant after he came home with these notes.

This is my favorite wizardry note yet, because it outlines all the things that he wants me to help him with. In Wizardology, Sam read that the wizard should think up an antidote to the spells that he creates. Sam decided that if a lion touches anything, that would break his spells. This is why he wrote down on his "to do" list to "tell [ask?] mom if she sees a lion hug it." 

Sam is a handsome little guy, and I think that he is starting to get attention from girls. There is a girl down the street who comes over a few times a week to ask if Sam wants to ride bikes with her. Poor Sam is too embarrassed to tell her that he doesn't know how to ride a bike, so he makes up random excuses every. single. time. I'm not sure if this little girl has a crush on Sam or not, but I'm pretty sure that there is one girl in Sam's class who does like him, because one day he came home with this in his backpack:

 The outside of the paper has "To Sam, from Alyssa" written on it. I'm pretty sure that the row of hearts along the bottom of the page are indicative of a crush. Sam evades any question that I ask about Alyssa, not in a way that suggests he likes her, but one that would suggest indifference on his part. My guess is that he won't be having crushes on girls anytime soon; wizardry is much more interesting and fun!

Lucy and Dress-Up Clothes

Lucy has definitely inherited the "dress-up gene" from her aunts on the S side of the family. I wrote earlier how Lucy inherited some lovely hand-me-down costumes from my Ant Bee and cousin Zel. These costumes have pretty much changed her life, and we now enter dress-up mode around once per day. Usually Lucy only likes to wear the outfits for a few minutes, before she moves on to the next outfit.

I wasn't sure how much I could promote the "girly girl" aspect of costumes and frills, because I don't want Lucy to feel like her identity comes from what she wears or her appearance. I'm trying to avoid saying things like "You look so beautiful!" and "You look so fancy!" (even though they do come out sometimes). But right now I think that mostly costumes are for her, at least right now, a way to pretend to be a character or different person. And I'm like that kind of imaginative play. Plus, it's kind of fun to see her being the same kind of dress-up girl that I remember my little sisters were at her age.

She chose this outfit herself. A Tinkerbell knight with a light saber and glass slippers

These sparkly Frozen shoes are a hand-me-down from a girl who goes to Lucy's daycare. Lucy adores them, even though they are about two sizes too big for her. I'm not that big of a fan of them myself, especially since they scatter glitter on the upholstery.

A "Christmas Queen" with glass slippers. We got this slippers as a compromise because she kept tripping over her feet in the too-big-for-her Frozen shoes.

Lucy's interest in dress ups is inspiring her dad! ;)

We also started dance class this month, which is really exciting. Lucy loves to get dressed in her dance outfit, and she especially likes the part in the class when they kids get to pretend to be a bee that flies around the room.

Lucy begged to have an Elsa dress (yep, we have a "Frozen" and "Let It Go" fan in the house). I let her pick out an Elsa nightgown, and it was supposed to serve as a motivation to help Lucy ditch her paci (she's supposed to trade in the paci for the nightgown), but it hasn't worked yet. Last night she chose to wear the nightgown, but drama and crying ensued for the next 90 minutes while we tried to get her to fall asleep. I guess there is still one thing that she loves more than a fancy costume. We'll see if we can break this paci habit in the next few weeks. I'm anxious to segue into toddler mode and get rid of the three last vestiges of baby mode in our house: pacis, diapers, and baby food crushers. My hope is that pacis will be the first and easiest thing to go, since she only uses them at naps and  bedtime.

Keekwulee Falls and Wolf Tree Nature Trail

We have been lucky to have a few weekends in which the weather was nice enough to do some hiking. On Labor Day we went and visited Keekwulee Falls, which on the Denny Creek main trail (just about 3/4 mile above the creek itself). I really loved this hike because the terrain was really varied: sometimes were were inside a forest of tall trees, and other times were were on a more exposed area on the side of a mountain with rocky terrain. It was also fun to see Denny Creek too, although the creek was quite dry, so we didn't get to play in the water.

The whole hike was about 3 miles. It wasn't terribly steep, and it was varied enough to keep the kids happy and interested. Probably the most difficult thing about the hike was walking on larger rocks up toward the falls, but the rocks were more of a setback (in terms of time) than a physical challenge. I definitely want to come back, especially at a time of year when the water is higher. We got to eat a picnic lunch (with our friends the Roses) on the mostly-dry, smooth rock bed of Denny Creek though, which was a fun and new experience.

Then, this past weekend we went to Discovery Park and walked along the Wolf Tree Nature Trail. This trail is only about 1/2 mile long, but there are many small trails that wind around the three different pools that are located in the area so there is a lot of variety. We also exited the trail for a bit to see the Daybreak Star Cultural Center and see a view of the sound from there.

I loved the light behind the trees, plus it's a good shot of both of my kids, so I wanted to put up both an actual shot and a detail image.

We ate lunch by the bright-green pond that was had plants covering its surface

Pond #2

Pond #3 - I loved how clear and reflective the surface of this pond was (especially in contrast with the other two)

It has been about seven years since we have been Discovery Park, and I'm glad we got to go and explore a new area of the park. We drove down and looked at the South Beach, but we decided to not hike down there this time. We need to utilize this park more often, because there is a lot to explore and do.

"CHA!" movie pics

When I was in Utah a few weeks ago, we sat down as a family and watched some old home movies. We happened to come across one that I made probably in 1998, with my high-school friends Julie and Heidi. The movie is probably about 20 minutes long. We named the movie "CHA!" after the Vancome Lady on MAD TV (who would say, "Tcha, you know what, uh-uh!").

The premise of the movie is that two unpopular, nerdy girls (who play "Hi Ho Cherry-O" for fun) walk into a magical closet and emerge as beautiful and popular girls. Julie and I played these girls.  

As soon as Julie emerged from the closet, a boy called her on the phone (to emphasize her popularity and desirability!). (Actually, it's funny because every time a character becomes popular, the phone rings and a boy is calling. This was funny to watch, because the boys who are on the line are always the names of the boys that we actually liked at the time.)

My line: "I need to go into the closet too. I want to be popular like Julie." 

As soon as we both become popular, Julie and I did a Michael Jackson dance (that Julie choreographed!) to "The Way You Make Me Feel"

After we became popular, Julie and I decided to throw a party. However, our nerdy friends Tootsie and Flootsie (played by my sister V and her friend Patricia) tried to crash our party and we had to get rid of them.  

After we got rid of the party, our popular friends (also played by V and Patricia) came over. 

Heidi played a mystical goddess who appeared to me and Julie. This is where the "Cha..." line to comes into the film. Heidi reprimands the popular girls for their mean behavior toward their nerdy friends. 

Julie and I resolve to be nice to the unpopular girls... 

...including Heidi, who came skipping down the road toward us. 

Heidi asks if we want to do some coloring in her coloring book (a nerdy activity!)... 

Julie and I decide to be kind to Heidi and stay friends with her. We pull her out of a tree (she is saying "Where's Heidi?" like the character Arnie in What's Eating Gilbert Grape) and decide to invite her to visit the magical closet.

And we all have become beautiful and popular, thanks to the CHA! closet. We end the movie by saying, "And we owe it all to CHA!"

It was fun to watch this movie so many years later, especially since I don't get to see Heidi and Julie very often. My family got a kick out of it, and we also noticed that a lot of my mom's clothes and accessories (like the bag Heidi carries) were used for the nerdy characters (although the Hawaiian shirt that I wore was mine). The yellow, polyester, faux-patchwork quilt shirt that Julie wears in the first scene is one shirt that particularly reminds me of my mom. I think this old shirt was thrown out a few years ago, so I'm glad that we have it captured on film.

Celebrities Project: Fred Astaire

If I had known what a prolific career Fred Astaire had, I think that I would have devoted two months to studying his work. Interestingly, I didn't feel like there was much to learn about his personal life (especially after coming off of learning about Louis Armstrong, who had such a dramatic and often turbulent life). It seems like Fred can be summed up in a few ways: he liked golf, horses, English fashion; he was a quite cautious person by nature, and he was a perfectionist when it came to his dance routines.

Probably the most interesting thing that I learned this month was that Fred had a long stage career with his older sister Adele (shown above). I read about an interesting biography dedicated to their work together: The Astaires: Fred and Adele by Kathleen Riley. They began taking intensive dance classes when they were children (about four and six years old) and they performed together into adulthood. Adele was really popular with the critics, and it seems like she was considered to be the more talented entertainer out of the brother-sister team. The team ended in 1932, when Adele left the stage to marry Lord Charles Cavendish. More information about Adele is in her obituary, and I posted an interesting anecdote about her on my art history blog. Although we don't have any film recordings of her performing, I do think it's interesting that her singing voice reminds me a little bit of Ginger Rogers's voice.

Fred and Adele Astaire in 1906

Another thing that was interesting to me about Fred Astaire was that he was close friends with George Gershwin. The two worked together so well, especially musically-speaking, that Alexander Woolcott wrote in 1927: "I do not know whether George Gershwin was born into this world to write rhythms for Fred Astaire's feet or whether Fred Astaire was born into this world to show how the Gershwin music should really be danced. But surely they were written in the same key, those two" (New York World, 23 November 1927).

These are the Fred Astaire films and clips that I saw over the past few weeks:

• The Gay Divorcee (1934): This was fun to watch, because I watched it with my Grandma and my sister. It really is quite a funny show, and we found ourselves laughing quite a bit. This was the second show that Fred performed with Ginger Rogers. The Cole Porter song "Night and Day" is in this film, and it's fun to hear Fred sing that.
• Flying Down to Rio (1933): This was the first film that Fred Astaire created with Ginger Rogers. They both had secondary roles in the movie, and honestly, it was a slow-paced film that dragged quite a bit. And only some of the speakers were authentic Brazilians, but I guess that's an unrelated issue...
• Easter Parade (1948): Apparently, Gene Kelly was supposed to do this film, but he broke his foot by stomping after he lost a volleyball game. Gene recommended Fred for the film. I was really impressed with Judy Garland's comedic timing, more than anything. 
• Daddy Long Legs (1955): There is some fun dancing in this film, and I personally like th opening scene when there are a lot of iconically-styled portraits (in the manner of Whistler or Sergeant, for example) created with Fred Astaire's likeness. Fred does seem quite old to be paired opposite such a young actress, but he mostly pulls it off alright.
• I also watched an interview with Ginger Rogers from 1968, in order to get a bit more of an outsider perspective on Fred Astaire. She tells a delightful story about how they spontaneously planned to dance for a moment on stage at the Academy Awards in 1967 (see video clip), which was fun.

All in all, I think that I had a mixed response to Fred Astaire Month. His dance routines were entertaining and fun, but I realized after a few films and video clips that I had a pretty good sense of his style. I didn't feel a compulsion to keep watching his films for enjoyment, but more so out of responsibility to this project. I did enjoy reading about his work with his sister, though, and I feel like I have a fairly good sense of who he was as a person and as a performer.