Considering Natural Childbirth

As the time gets closer for our new baby's arrival, I've been thinking more about what I would like the birth experience to be. In retrospect, I think that J and I weren't very well prepared for Sam's birth. I distinctly remember a moment when I was on the hospital bed, looking to J who was seated on my left, and we both looked at each other with wide, deer-in-the-headlights eyes. If J was mirroring the expression on my face, then we both looked scared more than anything else.

J went to a birth class before Sam's arrival, but it was kind of a joke. The most advice that we received (which the nurse repeated every few minutes) was, "Just get an epidural." I remember she went over breathing techniques for about thirty seconds but then just dismissed the information by saying, "But just get an epidural." I remember feeling quite frustrated when we left the class.

With Sam's birth, I wanted to try for a natural birth, but I don't think I did enough to prepare emotionally, psychologically, and in terms of mastering coping techniques. Granted, I didn't know what to expect. When we got to the hospital and I learned that I had to receive antibiotics for Group B Strep for several hours before Sam could be born, I knew that I would need an epidural in order to cope with the pain and preserve my strength. And the pain relief was amazing and welcome.

But, in hindsight, there are things that I didn't like about getting an epidural. I didn't like that I felt incapacitated and sedated - my lower body was reduced to deadweight. I remember being frustrated after Sam was born: he immediately was whisked off to the NICU to have his breathing monitored for two hours, and my bed was wheeled into an empty waiting room. I felt totally helpless at that moment, as I sat in that empty room and cried. I didn't even know where my baby and husband were located, and I couldn't reach them or go to them because I had no feeling or faculty in my legs.

When we left the hospital the next day, I remember complaining to my mom about a dull, but consistent, pain in my lower back. I thought that my back muscles were not used to carrying my body with a new center of gravity (since I had developed into different shapes over the past several months), but in retrospect, I think that the pain was a byproduct of the epidural. My mom was baffled by the back pain and suggested that I try and get some type of girdle to help center my flabby tummy and body weight. J watched Sam while my mom and I shopped for girdles at the mall (a very singular experience!). I think, though, that my mom might not have related to my back pain because she gave birth to all of her children naturally, although with my brother C she asked for an epidural but never felt relief (she thinks the tube might have been kinked, so that the drugs didn't enter her body).

Anyhow, my experience and the side-effects of getting an epidural with Sam have caused me to really want to try for a natural birth this time around. I don't know what will end up happening, of course, and I want to have an open and flexible mindset, but I would like to try and feel more empowered this time around. And, at least at this moment, I feel like I will be more empowered and in control of my body and birth experience without an epidural.

In order to prepare for a natural birth, I have been reading a few books. The one that has given me the most helpful tips for coping techniques and mental preparation is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin. These are some of the suggestions and points that I jotted down as I read the book:

• Singing can help relax the body, as well as the horse-lips blowing technique (to help one expel air with a consistent air flow). I like both of these ideas, since I have been singing and using the horse-lips technique for vocal warmups during this whole pregnancy. Part of me thinks that I should bring some very "singable" and comforting soundtracks with me to the hospital - Les Misérables immediately comes to mind, since I've loved that soundtrack since I was about eight years old.
• Massages can also help with relaxing.
• Some ways to open sphincters: slow, deep breathing, a comfortable environment, and laughing
• The body and the mind are connected together: verbal statements (either made by the woman in labor or by others in the room) can sometimes affect the way that one's body reacts.
• Repeating ideas or phrases in your mind can help the labor to progress (going back to the mind-body connection). One woman relayed how she kept thinking "I'm going to get huge!" in her mind over and over, and Gaskin reported that this woman's cervix opened up to an astonishing size.
• Being able to move freely about can help one to cope with contractions
• Hydrotherapy: a warm bath can relax muscles
• Gaskin writes about one woman she worked with who had an attitude of being grateful to be in labor - she was grateful and willing to surrender to the rushes brought on my the contractions. I hope that I can have a similar attitude - I would rather have a grateful attitude of anticipation and excitement than be scared of what my body is doing.

J and I have been talking about some of these coping techniques and ideas together, so that J can be informed and ready to help support me. We have also been looking over the books Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn and The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions. We still need to prepare further and refine our birth plan, but I'm glad that we are thinking about things now. I feel like, if things go according to plan, this birth experience will be much more of a collaborative and calm experience for me and J than the first time around. We'll see if I'm right!

Does anyone have any more coping tips or general advice for someone who is seriously considering a natural birth? I'm interested in all kinds of tips, but I'm particularly looking for ways to deal with the "fight or flight" body reactions that I had last time (i.e. uncontrollable shaking in my legs and nausea).

May Flowers in my Garden

I know that my garden is going to suffer a bit this summer. I don't have the stamina and agility to wrestle with the weeds in my garden, especially the ones on the south side of the house (where I planted wildflower seeds a few years ago). I'm trying to at least maintain control of the two beds in the front of the house, since they are the most visible. Perhaps I'll get to attack the weeds in the wildflower bed in the summer, after the baby comes. But if not, I'm going to be content with enjoying the flowers that I have already planted. If there was ever a year to be lazy about gardening, it would be this year!

The Rubens climatis has been absolutely gorgeous this year. The wisteria and Avalanche climatis are doing alright, but I'm a little concerned that the Avalanche climatis hasn't grown or shown any signs of budding. We'll see if anything changes in the next few weeks.

I've really been enjoying the flowers that are in the bed right next to our fence. It's fun to look at them when I go in and out of the house. The peonies just started to open a few days ago. And, I'm happy that the poofy purple alliums have opened up this year. (It only took them two years!)

If you look closely in the back of this image, you can see that the orange California poppies are starting to open in the wildflower bed. The yellow Lady Stratheden Grecian Rose is also doing well.

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

My phone dramatically and suddenly died the other week. I've been getting by alright with a replacement phone, but I am sad that I've lost some of the files and photos that were on my old phone. One thing that I lost was a list of bizarre things that I've said to Sam over the past year or so. Each of these quotes came about when I was trying to teach Sam some type of lesson or truth. When I think about these quotes objectively and out of context, they're quite amusing. I've remembered some of the quotes I recorded on my old phone, but I'm sure that there were others that I can't recall. I thought I'd better record what I do remember here:

- "Boogers are the poop of your nose. Do you want to eat nose poop?!?"

- "If you want to have friends, you need to wipe your bottom."

- "We don't wear two pairs of underwear [at the same time] in our family."

- "We don't squish other people's vitamins."[This one was said just last night, when I commented that the capsule for my fish oil supplement was rather squishy. Sam asked if he could hold the supplement to see for himself, which prompted my response.]

A few months ago my friend sent me a compilation of other bizarre and humorous things that parents have found themselves saying to their children. These quotes are accompanied with cute illustrations.

I suppose this is an appropriate post to write, given that today is Mother's Day. On some level, these quotes are a silly indication of how I am a mother. In a way, too, some of these quotes also indicate how my mother would teach things to me: she often spoke in the second person when endorsing or discouraging behavior by saying "We don't [insert an action] in our family" or "We do [insert an action] in our family."

What types of bizarre and humorous things have you said to children - either your own or someone else's?

My Mother's "Fragrances"

My brother A spent the past few days with us. It was fun to have him over for a visit. He seemed content to have a low-key agenda (which was nice for this pregnant lady!), so we got to spend some time visiting and playing with Sam at home - although we did go out usually once or twice a day to do something fun. Probably two of the memorable things that we did together were going to the SPY! exhibit at the Pacific Science Center and eating at a brand-new Cafe Rio (the first to open in the Seattle area!).

A and I talked a few times about my mom, which was especially nice given that her birthday and Mother's Day are just about within the same week this year. It's fun to see what my siblings remember and focus on when it comes to memories of my mom. Sometimes they are similar to my own, but sometimes they remember things that I don't remember (or that I didn't specifically experience with my mom for whatever reason).

I actually have been thinking about my mom anyway, because of the Mother's Day advertisements that I've heard on the radio. One ad was promoting a sale for perfume, encouraging people to "buy your mother's favorite fragrance" as a gift this year. This was a bit amusing for me, since my mom didn't wear perfume at all. In fact, artificial fragrances and other strong smells (like fresh newspaper print) gave her a headache. That being said, though, there are specific smells or "fragrances" that I do associate with my mom:

• Lilacs
• Clove
• Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap
• Apple cider vinegar
• White King laundry soap
• Borax laundry soap

There may be more smells that I'm not remembering at present, so I'll update this list later if need be. What certain smells or fragrances (i.e. perfumes) to you associate with your mom?

"Gilgamesh the Hero" by Geraldine McCaughrean

As Sam gets older and his reading skills become more advanced, I find myself reading more chapter books for children to determine whether or not they would be appropriate for Sam. I happened across Gilgamesh the Hero in the library last week, which happened to be right after I taught a lecture on ancient Near Eastern art. Although I don't think that Sam is ready for this book (I think it would be better for a child that is ten or eleven years old), I still am excited about this discovery. So far, I think this is the best way to introduce someone to the basic story of the Epic of Gilgamesh.

I teach basic elements from this story to my art history students, but I am most familiar with different characters or themes that have application in ancient Near Eastern art. I've never paid too many specifics to the order of events in the story itself. But I thought that I would outline the basic story of Gilgamesh's adventures here, so I can have the chronology for future reference.

• Gilgamesh is a very handsome king, but he is selfish and oppresses his people (by sending them to war and forcing them to build new monuments in Uruk).
• Hunter spots wild Enkidu (man-beast)
• Gilgamesh recommends to Hunter that Enkidu be tamed by a woman. Hatti tames Enkidu.
• Gilgamesh and Enkidu wrestle and fight, but then they become thoroughly devoted friends
• Gilgamesh and Enkidu kill the monster Huwana who guards the Cedar Forest
• Gilgamesh rejects the advances of Ishtar, the goddess of love
• The destructive Bull of Heaven sent as a punishment for Huwana's death. Enkidu and Gilgamesh fight the bull, which is eventually slain by Gilgamesh. Enkidu is killed by the gods as a punishment for the bull's death. (The "Master of the Animals" motif on the bull's head lyre may have been inspired by this part of the story, since the heroic figure is wrestling bulls.)
• Gilgamesh is thoroughly shaken by Enkidu's death. Gilgamesh decides that he needs to find the secret to immortality, so that he can avoid death himself. He determines to seek out Utnapishtim, who was given immortality by the gods
• The angry Gilgamesh kills a pride of lions as he leaves on his quest to search
• Gilgamesh meets the Scorpion-man and Scorpion-woman, who guard the gate which leads to the way toward the Garden of the Gods. This is a fire-scorched gate which only previously had opened for the sun, but the scorpion creatures let Gilgamesh through. (I think it's interesting that a "scorpion-human" is depicted on the bull's head lyre from Ur, again suggesting that the imagery may have been loosely inspired by the Epic of Gilgamesh.)
• Gilgamesh travels through a mountain for twelve leagues in darkness
• Gilgamesh meets the ale-wife Siduri, who recommends that he forget this quest for immortality and live his mortal life to the fullest. Gilgamesh doesn't listen to this advice (yet!).
• Gilgamesh has the ferryman Urshanabi take him across the Waters of Death to Paradise Shore.
• Gilgamesh meets Utnapishtim and his wife at Paradise Shore. He learns of their adventure with animals in the ark and how the gods blessed them with immortality
• Gilgamesh sleeps for seven days and seven nights. Utnapishtim's wife Saba makes a loaf of bread for Gilgamesh each day, in hopes that he will wake
• Gilgamesh goes in search of Old-Made-Young, the Plant of Life
• After finding the Plant of Life growing off shore in the water, Gilgamesh accidentally allows a snake to eat the whole plant. The snake sheds its life and rejuvenates itself, but Gilgamesh loses a chance to use the plant.
• Gilgamesh returns to Uruk and brings the ferryman Urshanabi with him.
• Gilagamesh is a changed man and ruler. He no longer oppresses his people, but has a new perspective on life and compassion. He leaves his selfish ways behind, marries, and has a child.

Sam's Spring Break

I feel kind of triumphant tonight, as we are finishing up Sam's Spring Break. It was a little tricky to balance my own work and commitments during this past week, while Sam was at home for most of the time. If only my Spring Break aligned with that of Sam's school!

I know that I did a lot more of this tricky juggling before Sam started kindergarten, but perhaps I've been spoiled over the past few months by having more flexibility. Or perhaps I just have less energy right now. Several weeks ago, Sam made a general observation about pregnant women: "The pregnancier you are, the tireder you get!" I'm afraid it's true. Nonetheless, despite this pregnancy, I feel like I was able to help Sam do a lot of fun things this past week. And I'm glad about that.

Sam got to spend time with his Gram twice this week. The first time was on a moving day, and Sam had fun playing in the paper that was used to box up Gram's dishes.

We visited the Nature Center at Lewis Creek Park

Sam got a new "Hidden Pictures" magazine in the mail (a bonus as part of his "Highlights" subscription), so we worked on it outside. He wore the cowboy hat initially to shield his eyes from the shade, but later we were able to pretend he was a sheriff too.

We went to the Washington State Fair with our cousins G and C! Here Sam and g are showing off their temporary tattoos.

Prizes won at the fair. Sam named his dog "Fluffy." Now he sleeps with Spot, Fluffy, a small bear (whom he calls "Russell Stover") that he got from the Paxmans on Valentine's Day, and his elephant pillow pet Snowman. Sam's bed is getting a bit crowded these days.

A small alligator we saw in the Reptile House at the fair

Making gigantic bubbles

Saturday J, Sam and I explored Magnuson Park in Seattle, which has the largest playground in the Seattle area.

We walked through the park trails until we reached Lake Washington. It was about half a mile from the playground to the lake, which is just the right distance for my stamina right now.

We ended up running into one of Sam's classmates at another park in the Newcastle area, which was a fun surprise.

Riding bikes with Dad

Sam and I also visited the SPY! exhibit at the Pacific Science Center, which was fun. The exhibit displays a lot of objects that spies actually used during the World War and Cold War eras, which was neat. The ammunition umbrella gun was probably my favorite thing on display. Sam liked seeing ways in which spies would hide things in shoes, soap dispensers, etc.

Whidbey Island Trip

About two weeks ago, we traveled up to Whidbey Island for a weekend getaway with our friends JB and M. Really, this trip was partially a birthday trip to celebrate JB and J's birthdays (which are just a day apart). The five of us stayed in a charming beach house that was just across the street from the beach. Although the weather was a little cold, we did see some bursts of sunshine. It was fun to relax, see some new sites at a leisurely pace, and just visit with our friends.

Riding the Mukilteo ferry over to Clinton. For dinner we had great sandwiches at the Pickles Deli in Clinton. I highly recommend going to eat there!

Before JB and M arrived, we briefly visited the beach and got to see the sun set. JB and M arrived just as Sam was getting settled in bed. It was fun to visit with them and catch up.

JB and M brought a kite to fly on the beach. Sam was nervous and kept worrying that the kite would fly away, but I think he secretly enjoyed it. I'm actually surprised that I got a picture of him smiling, since most of the time he was so worried about the kite.

Sam and I collected different shells on the beach.

I think this photo was taken on our second excursion to the beach that same day.

Everyone relaxed in their own way. While J and JB played guitars, Sam read a Garfield book behind the couch.

The lighting isn't great in this picture, but I think it captures our relaxed atmosphere pretty well (even down to the stocking feet on the table!).

We visited Fort Casey. Sam loved seeing all of the cannons and different fortifications. 

 

My cute friend M!

J took this shot inside of the light house at Fort Casey.

We decided to drive through Deception Pass instead of taking the ferry home. We parked the car on one side and walked over the bridge to Pass Island to look around for a bit. This shot was taken on the Deception Pass bridge.

I felt pretty puffy that weekend! I'm about 26 weeks pregnant in this photo. We are standing on Pass Island on the north side of the bridge. The camera is facing east (with Strawberry Island in the background).

 We stopped by the Tulip Festival on the way home. The festival had just barely begun, and there weren't enough tulips open for the fields to be as visually striking as I would have liked. But it was still fun to see the tulips, nonetheless. We also enjoyed seeing the fields of daffodils in the area as we drove to and from the Tulip Town grounds; those fields were very striking and completely covered in yellow.

I'm so glad that we were able to take this little trip with JB and M. I don't know when we are going to be able to do such a luxurious and low-key trip with them again, especially with this new baby on the way. But I don't doubt that we will have more relaxing vacations with these friends in the future.