In my case, the blackboard should say "The art teacher is pregnant, not fat," but I felt like the image was quite fitting with this post nonetheless!
I don't feel like this is the appropriate forum to complain about my occasional problems at work, so I'm not going to delve into specifics here. But I did want to record some recent observations about being a young female professor and the authority that I expect to have in my classroom (whether virtual or physical).
In my experience, the vast majority of students are very respectful of me and my course policies. There have been a few instances in which I have felt undermined, belittled, and had my authority challenged by male students. These male students have varied in their age - some of them have been considerably older than me, and a few have been younger than me. I am inclined to think that these male students feel like they can question my authority based on my gender. I do recognize, though, that one quarter I had my authority consistently challenged by a young female student. In that case, I feel like that student's attitude and approach was partially due to her personality, but also fueled by the fact that I am relatively young in comparison with other faculty members on campus.
It's been interesting to observe how my pregnancy this year seems to affect the way that students perceive my authority as an instructor. I feel like some students are intimidated by the fact that I am pregnant - at least when they interact with me. I rarely have students mention or query about my pregnancy to me, unless I first mention something about the topic myself. I also feel like what I say seems to have a bit more weight and bearing with students at times, I guess because I weigh more and have a physically larger presence in the classroom.
On the other hand, this year I have felt like other students do not take me as seriously because I am pregnant. Perhaps this is because my pregnancy makes me seem more like an individual than a teacher? Or perhaps this is an issue that relates to gender - am I even more female (and thus more susceptible to gender discrimination) due to my inherently-female profile right now? I think both of these are valid possibilities, although I assume that many students don't take me seriously because I don't look "normal." I have become an Other through my pregnancy, and that visual element of difference perhaps waters down my identity and authority to a more superficial or stereotypical level. Sure, I know that I look distorted and disproportionate, and I recognize that I waddle around in front of the classroom. I do look silly. Sometimes I can hardly take myself seriously when I look in the mirror, especially when I can't find clothes that fit. But what I say and what I expect from my students is serious and important to me, regardless of my appearance, gender, or current state of being.
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2 comments:
I've had issues with students in the past due to my age and gender. For the most part it hasn't been a real problem, but there was a span of several years where I lied about my age so that a certain age-focused culture would respect me more. I've had a couple of men from very conservative cultures be significantly sassier to me than my male counterparts. It's infuriating and discouraging at the same time.
On the other hand, I think being pregnant could be beneficial for your authority in some cultures. Example: a woman T-rav volunteers with went on two separate business trips to a conservative Muslim country, once not pregnant, and once pregnant. She found that people were much more respectful and likely to listen to/meet with her with a visibly pregnant belly than not. I wondered if perhaps it was because she seemed less threatening to these conservative men because she was obviously family-centered, something they highly valued in both men and women.
I wonder if your students treat you differently because culturally pregnancy is sometimes equated with with weakness or illness. You're more delicate or fragile when pregnant (even if you're not really), so they interact with you in a different way.
Though I don't stand in front of students to teach, I have felt like I was treated VERY differently while being pregnant. Whether it was volunteering in one of my kids' classrooms, grocery shopping, or getting the van's oil changed, I felt like other adults didn't take me seriously. "Oh, she's pregnant and emotional, can't do this or that, or make that decision rationally right now..." Or maybe I just felt self-conscious and silly. Either way though, I definitely agree with you - being pregnant changes the way others behave toward you.
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