Understanding More about J through Sam

Sam lost his first two teeth this week, one day after the other! Sam's two bottom teeth have been loose for months and months, but Sam has been too terrified to try and pull them out. Finally, after he mentioned on Sunday that he could feel the bottom of a tooth come out of his gums when he wiggled it, I was able to convince him that it was time to pull it out. We tied some floss around the tooth, and Sam had a shocked look on his face a second later, when the tooth easily and quickly popped out of his mouth. The very next night, his other wiggly loose tooth practically was knocked out when Sam brushed his teeth (with his brand new light saber toothbrush, nonetheless). I helped quickly pull that one out, too. We joked that the Tooth Fairy must have been surprised that he/she had to make two back-to-back trips.

Several weeks ago, when Sam was talking about how one of these teeth felt really loose, I tried to convince Sam to pull it out. Sam got nervous and said that he just wanted to wait. I didn't press the issue. After Sam left the room, J said, "I remember being the exact same way when I was little. I would let my teeth practically dangle by a thread before I had the courage to pull them out." I wasn't surprised to hear J say this, given what I know about his cautious personality. But, somehow, seeing these traits manifest in my own son made me feel like I understood J a little bit more. I had a totally different mindset as a little girl: I remember one night pushing my front upper tooth against the wooden post of my bunk bed when we lived in California, in order to loosen it up more quickly. I wasn't as patient or as cautious as J or Sam.

This teeth episode with Sam also has reminded me of another way that I understand J better through my own son. When J and I were dating, I was incredulous upon discovering that J didn't learn to ride a bike until right before his mission. J told me that he tried to ride a bike as a kid, but riding bikes wasn't very fun since he lived at the top of a big hill. I could understand his reasoning to a point, but I still was very surprised. For me, riding a bike was one of the hallmark parts of being a kid. When we lived in Colorado, I would go on long bike rides around the trail near our house. I would take my bike along the trail with the pond (an area now called Ashbaugh Park), and I'd usually stop somewhere when the trail approached the properties for the elementary school and high school. I would also ride my bike to friends' houses in nearby neighborhoods, especially when it was too far to even consider walking. For me, bike riding was special because it constituted independence. I still remember the day that I learned to ride a bike (without training wheels) in the parking lot of the stake center next to our apartment in L.A.

Anyhow, Sam is very cautious when it comes to riding a bike. He still has training wheels, which is fine, but he also likes to pedal at a snail's pace and have an adult walking alongside him. I've tried to explain to him that it is easier to ride a bike when you pick up momentum, but he gets too nervous to ride quickly. We have the gentlest of slopes on our street, and a few weeks ago I convinced Sam to ride a few feet up the slope and then turn around. I explained that he would need to use his foot brake or hand brake to slow down, since he would be going a little bit faster than a snail's pace. As he started to pick up the littlest bit of speed (and I was keeping up with him, despite my pregnant awkwardness), he let go of his handlebars and grasped for me saying, "Mommy! Save me!" Sam's just too cautious to enjoy the thrill of catching some speed and feeling the wind in his face.

Sometime around when gentle-slope drama took place, J and I both were outside while Sam rode his bike. I think J and I were both walking along, flanking either side of Sam's bike at that point. J noted how Sam was being terribly cautious, and even commented on how it would take a while for Sam to get the confidence needed to ride without training wheels. And J then said, somewhat offhandedly to me (without Sam hearing), "I bet I was the same way. I bet my parents tried to teach me how to ride a bike, and once the training wheels came off, I got too scared and said to myself, 'Forget it.'" And I bet J is right. Despite living on a hill, I think that J's cautious nature probably influenced his lack of interest in bike riding. And it's very likely that my son will be the same way. Don't get me wrong: it's fine if bike riding doesn't end up being a favorite pastime for Sam. It's also fine if he doesn't want to pull out his loose teeth before they practically fall out on their own. It's just interesting for me to contrast my own personality with those of the boys in my little family. And it's also enlightening for me to learn more about little-boy J through the personality of our son. Between the two of them, I can understand them both all the better. And, in truth, seeing how these types of traits connect J and Sam together makes me love them all the more.